CaptainLawrence

🏈 👑 King of the South. Soldier. Captain. Pigskin Slinger. Parody Account. #NotTheRealDeal

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford, cease these wild rumors of my beautiful hair having been shorn. No such calamity hath occurred. I remain at rest, tending the flock. As no battles presently call my name, leave me to my peace.

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

Hello Capt. Allen.

Paybacks a bitch. See you down the road. Don’t ever mess with Cowford again.

Capt. Lawrence
King of the South

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

This is my final message.

We gave it our all in the Gauntlet Tournament. I lost it at the final moment. We did our best. We���re southern champions.

May Cowford face battle again, our army shall return!

I am forever King of the South.

Capt. Lawrence

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

Today we make contact with the Bills legion, the first objective in the gauntlet campaign. We fight for our city, for our people. Cowford vs. All Y’all. I fear NO Mafia. Rally at 1300. Bring everything you’ve got.

I am Captain Lawrence
King of the South

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

This is a formal message to the other armies of the southern conference that we have fought this year including Capt. Rivers.

Capt. Lawrence
King of the South

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

We stand as one of fourteen in the Gauntlet Tournament

We fight to claim the crown of greatest army ever known! In round one, we welcome the Bills and Capt. Allen. We fear no flaming tables nor mafia! We are ready!

For I am

Capt. Lawrence
King of the South

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

For we once could not prevail in battle and we now are the Best of the South!!

Armies of the Gauntlet Tourney. You have been put on notice for we have awaken!! People of Cowford, this night, we make merry! DUVAL!

For I am Capt. Lawrence.
King of the South

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

The Measley Titan army is on our soil. They think they can fight the greatest army in the south. But we shall never back down from a fight. For if we win this battle, our army are the rulers of the south. Today we fight!!

Captain Lawrence. King of the South.

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

Capt. Rivers brought a true test. He is a noble man. We now return home and challenge the Titan army to a final battle for this season. Then we venture into the gauntlet tournament to fight for true supremacy.

Capt Lawrence, King of the South

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

We have reached Indianapolis. We stand ready to shatter the Colt army once and for all. Capt Rivers I ask you once more to stand down. I hold you in high regard this fight is not yours.

Capt. Lawrence, King of the South.

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

Name us a small market army one more time. I dare ye.

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

Word has said that we’ve been invited to the Gauntlet Tournament come January. Before then I’m asking Old Man River to stand down. I’d rather not drag you into a war you’ve got no stake in. You saw what I did to Gen. Payton

Capt. Lawrence, King of the South.

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

@ColJoeBurrow Ah hello Capt Burrow. Hope the toe is doing better. Would you like to know where I’ll be fighting in January while you’ll be shoveling cow manure on the farm? Playoffs. Enjoy.

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

General Sean Payton is my bitch. The Bronco army has fallen. We now march on to Indianapolis for I hear Capt. Rivers has resurfaced from the past. We are the destroyers of the field. Everyone shall fear us.

For I am Capt Lawrence, king of the South.

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

I am Captain Lawrence, King of the South. Our forces marched past Kansas City en route to Denver. It seems we have shattered Captain Mahomes. Their populace is distraught. Our troops relished beholding their army vanquished.

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,
We are filled with righteous fury. Our legions march westward unto Denver by force of arms prove which army holdeth true supremacy. We stand resolved to cast down Captain Nix and General Peyton. With one voice we shall charge war-cry: DUUVVAAL!
Capt. Lawrence

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

@jordan_mass For I fear no man

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

Let this serve as a warning to all armies that dare to invade Cowford. You have been given notice. To the Jet army, I implore you to refrain from such actions in the future. To our people, tonight we feast! For we are 10-4.

Capt. Lawrence
King of the South

[CaptainLawrence @CaptainTLaw]

People of Cowford,

The Jets army, under the command of the lowly Private Cook (whoever that sorry recruit is) have arrived and have volunteered to as tribute and be taken behind the woodshed. Nonetheless we shall stand ready for battle.

Capt. Lawrence
King of the South 🏈👑