Charles Atreides

Let’s Act. Fat phobic. Go Gamecocks

[Shane B @strait_vibinn]

When the first sip of Modelo hits your lips

[Charles Atreides @CaptBlackMatt]

#FreakShit

[Charles Atreides @CaptBlackMatt]

@tobykeith RIP LEGEND

[Stunna @incognitoStunna]

This is peak male breakfast

[News That Matters @ThatmattersNews]

LIFE HACK: Disguise Your Zyn As Fentanyl So Democrats Will Let You Keep It

[Charles Atreides @CaptBlackMatt]

I can’t be the only one that holds my breath whenever I walk by a fat person

[Frank McCormick @CBHeresy]

It was 2:20 p.m. on this day in 2021. I was in my classroom- quadruple masked- explaining to my students how queer slaves actually wrote the Constitution, when I heard it: sobbing from the hall.

I went outside to find my colleague, an English teacher, sobbing uncontrollably. At first I thought Ron DeSantis had made our jobs even more difficult by banning us from discussing our kinks in the classroom, but it was far worse.

“A white supremacist insurrectionist has his feet on Nancy Pelosi’s desk,” they/them cried.

I rushed back into my classroom to see the look of fear on my students’ faces.

“Are we going to lose access to our puberty blockers?” a purple-haired demiboy asked.

“If they overthrow our democracy, yes,” I replied.

For the next several hours we watched the TV in fear as several hundred terrorists searched the Capitol for Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, so they could have their way with her.

Thankfully, a brave police officer of color shot a hysterical Karen in the face, sending the MAGA idiots running for their lives at the sight of such a strong Black man.

When it was over, 640 police officers of color had been killed and Ilhan Omar’s brother-husband had been deported back to Somalia.

My students knew how close we had come to losing our democracy- mostly because I told them so.

We must #NeverForgetJan6

How did you hear the news?

[Charles Atreides @CaptBlackMatt]

I’m not addicted, I’m training to be an astronaut. This is the closest I can get to g force resistance training without a facility.

[Charles Atreides @CaptBlackMatt]

The first double pack upper decker lip pillow to the face after max effort heavy deadlifts kicks like a 3.5 inch 12 gauge slug

[marlie chiller @cmiller1123]

juice wells steals $1m from our fans and our university and it is “the wild west NIL landscape” but when i steal $10 from my fraternity to buy bojangles i am “embezzling” and “graduated 2 years ago, get a job” make it make sense

[Beer Enjoyer @YungGiamatti]

Me: Cool Lizard you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. Your style too crisp. they’ll kill you

Cool Lizard:

[Brandon Walker College Football Show @BFWshow]

Give South Carolina all of the night games @BarstoolUofSC

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

Terrifying that these young people are so stupid.

[Robert J. O'Neill @mchooyah]

Ever notice that Gaza runs out of everything except rockets?

[Marina Medvin 🇺🇸 @MarinaMedvin]

He read Osama Bin Laden’s letter to America.

Watch.

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Cain Calls For Ceasefire After Killing Abel https://t.co/h1HFN0PNZs

[Charles Atreides @CaptBlackMatt]

Not a better person for this to happen to

[OutKick @Outkick]

“If there was a God, this is proof there isn’t”

Megan Rapinoe after getting injured and leaving the game early.

[Charles Atreides @CaptBlackMatt]

Tennessee is so fucking trash. They simply cannot lose with grace. Every time they get humiliated they do some dirty, dumb, embarrassing, immature shit at the end of the game. Against Florida and Mizzou. Love to see a sore loser get beat. Trash fans. Trash players. Fuck UT.

[SEC Mike @MichaelWBratton]

South Carolina true freshman QB LaNorris Sellers 36-yard rushing touchdown