Smiti Agarwal @caramelisdivine - Twitter Profile

9 months ago

Indian parenting is pressure cooker parenting. One of the worst models globally. Not because parents are evil. But because the system is broken and no one questions it. Most Indian parents didn’t raise children. They raised outcomes. Children are treated like owned assets - Not individuals, not independent humans. Parents decide what you study, what you become, how you live, how you think, whom you marry, etc… Mental health, interest, curiosity, aptitude, all are irrelevant. The logic is simple. You are my child, you will do what I say. Most parents transfer their unfinished dreams directly onto their child. The child becomes a project. A second chance. A retirement plan. Not because the child wants it, but because the parent couldn’t become it. Failure in India is treated like a crime! If a child fails an exam, the reaction is not concern - It is shame, and the child is scolded. Parents worry less about the child well being and more about how they will answer ‘society and relatives’ This creates an unwritten contract. The child never agrees to it. The parent doesn’t even realise it exists. Parents genuinely believe they are securing the child future. Psychologically, they are securing their own unresolved failure. Questioning is seen as disrespect - The child who questions becomes the ‘bad’ one. Silence is seen as ‘Sanskaar’ Parents themselves were raised this way, controlled, unquestioning, emotionally suppressed. So the cycle repeats. You could be more informed than your parents, more educated, more aware, still you are not allowed to challenge them. So children grow up emotionally trapped. Questioning feels like betrayal. Disagreement feels like guilt. Silence becomes safety. Now let’s zoom out little bit more - A society where questioning inside the home is punished will never produce questioning thinkers outside it. Indians are not trained to ask hard questions. We are trained to comply. Ask tough questions and you are labelled arrogant, rude, out of control So children grow up afraid to question. Afraid to disagree. Afraid to think independently. Then comes society - Neighbours, relatives, and this toxic comparison culture. Someone else’s kid achieved XYZ. Suddenly, your child must do the same! IQ doesn’t matter, interest doesn’t matter, and capability doesn’t matter. What matters is only IMAGE. Indian parents are terrified of society opinion. Too scared to answer relatives. Too scared to push back. So they dump that fear onto their kids. They can’t fight society, so they dominate their children. Indian parents are terrified of society opinion. Too afraid to respond to relatives. Too scared to push back. So they dump that fear onto their kids. They can’t fight society, so they dominate their children. And let’s be honest - This cowardice comes from generations of patriarchy and obedience. Parents themselves never learned to say NO. So they don’t teach their kids how to either. Parents think they are doing good - But subconsciously, they are doing damage. Not intentionally. But damage doesn’t care about intent. This is not parenting - This is outsourcing personal failure onto the next generation.

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Smiti Agarwal

@caramelisDivine

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