Carlson*

MAMA TRIED

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

@motherboard @NonameBooks @MARIAHRSWIFT 😥

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

@VisitTelluride @ryanbonneau @M_Pathi11

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

Someone come visit me dammit I have a spare bedroom in a treehouse for you

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

As you all begin to plan and get excited for summer or fall trips I would like to remind you that I’m living in a place nicknamed “The Island of Magic” in Brazil and, while it’s expensive to fly to, you will spend less on a two week trip here than to Europe or whatever

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

When you told your dad you’d be home by midnight and it’s 12:01

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

Man I’m not dead yet you could’ve just FaceTimed me 🥹

[Scoob @ScoobTSP]

I already miss my dog

[Chicuyei Tochtli 🐇🏹🌕 @Cycamefalling47]

SHES CANADIAN?!

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

@paulycristo @Nike @andafterthatnet sticker sitting nicely 🫡

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

TEN DOLLAR SUSHI BUFFET WALKING DISTANCE FROM THE HOUSE

[Dr. Hotdog @SawyerStull]

GET TICKETS FOR MY SHOWS AT THE VELV ON APRIL 7TH & 8TH!!!

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

@_whitejoe_

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

I should’ve bought this pearl-adorned beret in Paris when I had the chance

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

It’s real y’all

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

@_JamesJordan_ @ScoobTSP Steve is just mad because all his Instagram captions from 2015-2017 were Drake lines

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

It’s been a long time coming but I’m publicly announcing my allegiance to team anti-Drake

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

@ScoobTSP @_JamesJordan_ Crazy that you showed JBake Twitter then asked if she could take a screenshot of something you texted her just for this

[Carlson* @Carlsahn]

@ScoobTSP @_JamesJordan_ My life would be no different if I never heard his music again

(He also cancelled his show for Lollapalooza this morning, 12 hours before he was scheduled)

[leon @skyferrori]

OKAAYYY

[Applebee's Grill + Bar @Applebees]

To honor the SB J’s going #PineGreen and red, we made 4 decks for the new #AJ4. Tell us your favorite Applebee’s meal after a sesh, and we might send you a surprise. 👀🛹