Carly Vaugh

Portland Weird and proud. Parent to an amazing boy. Just here to defend the film lovers and my reputation.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

And to all those in my DMs calling me a horrible mother because I am trying to separate a boy from his father, why don’t you take that up with Kirk? Give him a call and ask him how good of a parent he’s been. His number is: (908) 481- 9648. Leave me alone.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Now that Kirk has told the whole world, yes, I am planning to move back to Portland with Mikey. Mom can’t live alone, and I can’t stay here any longer. It’ll take some time, and we need to see how this all plays out in court. Please wait until you have the whole picture.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Probably need to have some of the half-finished projects in the house finally done. Sometimes, you keep waiting, but it’s never enough.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

How could someone dislike Jim Carrey’s performance in The Truman Show? Listen, I love him in Ace Ventura, but I understand people dislike his physical comedy. But his acting in The Truman Show is so real. I guess it’s hard to understand emotions when you don’t have any.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Did you know the last movie we saw together in theaters was a film called Real Steel? I just checked. That came out in 2011. 14 years ago. And I can assure you, I was not the one who suggested it. Just shows how much he cared.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Thinking of home.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Ironic that this man has a problem with the side characters in The Wizard of OZ because he doesn’t have a heart, a brain, or bravery. And “There’s no place like home” is THE most iconic line of all-time.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

To any of my friends still in Portland, does anyone know a good Realtor? We’re selling Mom’s house and moving her into something smaller. If not, I understand. A TRUSTWORTHY Realtor is hard to come by.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Cary Elwes in The Princess Bride is literally husband goals. I would let Andre the Giant sit on me if it meant being saved by the man in black. And yes, the movie is tropey. It’s supposed to be tropey. Get over it.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Everyone is complaining about the cold today in Jersey. This is hiking weather in Portland. #PortlandGirl

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

One time at the beach, he got stung by a jellyfish on the first day of vacation. He spent the rest of the week in the house as a form of “protest” because I didn’t give him enough attention. Really brave.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

To be fair, I do have some qualms about Forrest Gump. He’s wrong, of course, because there are so many great moments. But the movie may lack some direction. He could have a point there. (Don’t kill me film lovers, I’m still one of you)

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Apparently, my mother started a small fire this morning. Forgot something on the stove. Gonna start looking into some full-time care options.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

And to call that our first “major” fight is an insult to your petulance. Just because you sulked for two days doesn’t mean I even registered your shitty attitude.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Sure, let’s ignore the fact that Finding Nemo has a 99% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes and focus on the bright colors. Excellent movie analysis. It’s the story of a single father and disabled child overcoming life’s obstacles. HAVE A HEART YOU MONSTER.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

It’s like he missed the entire point of Almost Famous. Boring? I’m sure it would have been a lot better if the entire band died in the plane crash. It’s about freedom and coming of age. Just because you haven’t left your adolescence yet doesn’t mean others can’t.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Friendly reminder to everyone who doesn’t see their parents often: Sometimes the phone doesn’t cut it. Mom can’t seem to remember what day it is. She keeps asking for my ex. We wouldn’t have known it was this bad if we didn’t come to visit.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

Heading to Portland for a long weekend. Mikey’s first trip since he was a baby. Gonna make him weird like the rest of us. #KeepPortlandWeird

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

And Back to the Future gave us some of the greatest moments in film history. Johnny B. Goode. The chase ending in the manure. The Faux-Darth Vader. And, of course, he has a problem with Marty and Doc’s friendship BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.

[Carly Vaugh @CarlyVaughDoc]

I hate social media. ALL SOCIAL MEDIA. But when your ex-husband airs out your business on his crappy “blog,” you have no other choice but to defend yourself.