Romance author enamored of the history part of historical romance as well as happy endings, currently staying close to the fictional village of Ashmead.
April 15, 2023.
The day I was visited by Saint Clare Assisi.
I walked into her basilica as a p0rn producer and a woman who essentially hated God. I walked out of her basilica on a new path towards God.
I will never know why I did it because I didn’t kneel at any other Saint’s tomb during the several days I had already been in Italy as I wandered from church to church to check out the exquisite artwork and architecture.
But when I walked down the stairs to Saint Clare’s crypt, I did kneel. Within a moment’s time, she was there. Truly, genuinely, literally present with me. And she was not dressed in the way I had seen her in images painted on the walls of the basilica.
She was dressed in a beautiful flowing gown, the type that a bridesmaid would wear to the most beautiful of wedding feasts. Her face was obscured my a magnificently bright light. Her beauty was like nothing I’ve ever seen. She gestured to her heart. Then slowly showed me her forearms and finally her lap.
She said to me, “look at my soft arms, look at my soft lap. You can put it all here and I will bring it to Him.”
With zero knowledge of theology or Catholic teaching, I instinctively knew what she meant. She was going to offer my pain, my brokenness, tragedies and my sins to God. She was going to lighten my burden and lead me to Christ.
I cried quietly for a long minute and then, realizing people were waiting to kneel and others were waiting for me upstairs, I quickly got up and pulled myself together.
I wish I could say I left the church and was immediately transformed but my life is not a Disney movie. The truth is I didn’t tell anyone what happened to me. I was scared by it and was still processing it. It took me months to fully work through it and investigate it further and share it.
But what did happen immediately was that I felt lighter, I felt a spark in my heart, and I felt like something was seriously changing.
My slow walk back to Christ had begun. After arriving back home in the USA, I tried to go back to the work I used to do and faked it for a while but everything had changed. I couldn’t escape the feelings I had in Italy and that mystical encounter with Saint Clare.
I wanted those feelings and I knew the place those feelings happened was in the Catholic Churches. So, I started to attend Mass. I started to read all about Saint Clare. I started to learn the faith.
As time marched on, I began to look at what I was doing in life and felt disgusted and revolted by it. I realized I was sinning and causing others to do the same. I realized I had so much to repent of; it was all almost too much. I had to meet with a priest, and it was the best decision I ever made.
Without going into all the details of that meeting, when I left his office I knew my life would have to dramatically change. I was committed to joining RCIA and converting to Catholicism.
I continued to read all about Saint Clare and one day I came upon a story of a nun who lived in the 13th or 14th Century who had an encounter with Saint Clare and her description of it blew me away. She described the great Saint as also showing the nun her forearms and lap. I was blown away.
Then, when I learned about Heaven being the wedding feast of the Lamb, something else clicked. Saint Clare’s outfit finally made sense. Of course she was no longer wearing a hair shirt and nun’s habit. She was wearing a bridesmaid gown and was sublimely beautiful because she was at the eternal wedding feast!
I don’t know why she chose me or what I did to deserve her love and her gentleness towards me, but she helped save my life and my eternal soul. She delivered me to Christ and His beautiful Catholic Church.
I venerate her daily. I ask for her prayers regularly. I try to share her holiness and courage with anyone willing to listen.
Saint Clare of Assisi, pray for all of us. Guide us to the wedding feast, so we can dine with you, all the Saints and the most holy Trinity forever and ever and ever. Amen!