Cassius the Elf

l like elves and goblins and wine. And perhaps you, especially if you are wine

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Austria. Nice blue star on his eye. Having a nice lie down to start. If it had a new order baseline would be epic. Tom Waits covers Daft Punk. Very #Eurovisión 6.9/10

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

ROMANIA. Choke me I assume about driving an already old VW Polo in 1993. Good Ghostbusters vibe staging. Good nun involvement. Could be a Whitesnake cover. She delivers on her wish to be choked so fair play to her 7/10 #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Norway. Sounds like very into the early work of Sterophonics or something else Welsh. 90s vibe. Actually good especially when you consider how much booze costs there 8/10 #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Italy. Looks like he is 61 pretending to be 39. Could be Shaking Stevens. Oh graham said he is old! Styled like Bryan Ferry forced to play his kids school summer ball. Actually quite charming and very Italian. My little foot is bouncing and the dog like it. 8.75/10 #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Cyprus. Now I love Cyprus. And If she had sung this next to me in the Craven Heifer I would have been suitably impressed. However this song needs Cher to sing it to make it bang. Or maybe Lisa Stansfield. This is Poundland Shakira #Eurovisión 5/10

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Sweden. COVID MEMORIES. Sounds like it would go down very well over the speakers at a 24 hour Asda really late. Going wild in the crisps aisle. 4/10 not for me #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Lithuania. Who hasn't painted their head silver? And had power shoulders? I think he would have won an early year of Britain's Got Talent. Bono wishes he has written this. 7/10 #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Poland. Metal breastplate like a Winged Hussar. Actually sounds like something you would hear on Radio 2 as record of the week if Mystique reformed. Very good and also a reminder of Polands proud Cavalry history. #Eurovisión 9.2/10

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Finland. My god he is beautiful in a doomed prince killed in Moria by a Balrog kind of way. She looks box of frogs mental but has a fine fiddle and clearly special powers. Fire window could be from the Walking Dead. 8/10 for the fiddle #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Moldova. Very 80s boy band on CD:UK. Nice shoulders all round with various accoutriments. Strangely hypnotic in a best song ever I am drunker than a wizard and oh my word 8/10 #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

France. Could not be more french unless she pulls out some Gitanes and says she would rather be anywhere else. Love a spot of opera. Very now 9.1/10 /#Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

United Kingdom. Adding German to make it more European. Channeling Timmy Mallet. In fact it may be him. May have won if done by Malta. He is having fun and a good #Eurovisión option. 8/10

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Croatia. Lady Jesus with drawings on her face covers a medieval monks evensong banger. Even i didn't know we needed this. 4/10 #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Bulgaria. Acid zombie dream. Sounds like a Tulisa comeback that did very well in Finland. Great chair lifting. Actually could be a huge hit and bigger than Letchkovs goal #Eurovisión 9/10

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Czechia. Good voice if singing about an old British soap opera. Wants to be either Radiohead or Aha but the sun will not shine on his TV. Well it is actually ok 7/10 #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Malta. I like his video hat. 50s glorious throwback. This could be in Fallout 3 at the Strip. He could be a sexy snooker player and I am all for it. 9/10 #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Serbia. Thinks Sauron should have won. Well they didn't and Galadriel does not approve. Good shout but #Eurovisión is not back on the menu boys

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Australia. Should be Daniii or Kylie ever year. Although Delta Goodrum sounds like a good role playing name. She sounds like Celine Dion if she was forced to move to Canberra. Good 9/10 as Celine is glorious #Eurovisión

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Most famous #Eurovisión song is obviously Puppet on a String by Sandy Shaw as I once met her and promotion of bare feet created a whole fetish scene

[Cassius the Elf @Cassiustheelf]

Ukraine. channeling Kate Bush in her black fingers Phase. She can sing a bit and I think listens also to Muse. Verry good 8.6/10 nice eye make up gets the extra 0.1 like this one #Eurovisión