Cathryn

[Wokerati Marty @WokeratiMarty]

An American interviewer asked Count Binface where he stands on the British political spectrum. 👇

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

This, too, shall pass.

By "this" I mean the human race.

[ً @ImAVeteran_]

People who don’t know the difference between 🥹 and 🥺 stress me out

[Oliver 🫒❤️‍🔥🌾 @Pyrrrhos]

Absolutely thrilled the be appointed Education Secretary.

[𝓴 @ifuliedownhere]

Opening twitter like it’s the morning paper

[Covie @covie_93]

FIFA half time show, meanwhile the FIFA Peace Prize recipient is bombing everybody.

[Joakim 🌹🇳🇴🇪🇺 @joakial_]

One of the Norwegian commentators on the halftime show: “I’d rather watch my dad wipe his ass than this.”

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

I created people to feed mosquitoes.

[Michael Lavelle @mikelavelle93]

When you give way to someone at a junction and they don’t give you a thank you wave

[Tehran Tadhg @TadhgHickey]

All of you hating on Argentina, we Irish understand you & empathise with you. But let us do our fucking thing tonight, yeah? Hating England is our national pastime. The Argentinians never stole our land and starved us to death. Vamos, vamos, Argentina!

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

My favorite word is "Amen" because when I hear it it means you're done asking Me for stupid shit.

[Cłoùd𖤐 @vapefuls]

“I hope it’s not 6:00 a.m.”

clock: 5:58 a.m.

me immediately going back to sleep like those 2 minutes will change my life:

[Nostos @NostosLit]

- Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Franz Kafka

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Sometimes we get too busy wishing one particular person dead that we forget about all the other people we wish dead.

[Suzy Exposito @HexPositive]

Activism

[p♡mi 🍀 @kidz9ne]

right now no one is happier than a french person experiencing wind and 18° for the first time after a deadly heatwave

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

I'm sick of being kept awake by the heat. I can't wait to go back to being kept awake by stupid things I said in 2014.

[Michael Lavelle @mikelavelle93]

Back in my day we had to keep our blazers on unless the teachers gave us permission to take them off. And if we were in a French lesson our teacher made us ask in French.

[Lauren Vidas @BroadAndMarket]

All I can say about the reflecting pool debacle is that I thought it would be impossible to top the Four Seasons Landscaping plot line, but having the guy who said he was gonna drain the swamp accidentally MAKE A GIANT SWAMP is giving it a run for its money.

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

If rumours are to be believed I'll be living with a seventh different Prime Minister shortly. If it carries on like this I'm going to stop making the effort to learn their names.