Catty Jacques

Generally nice, swears too much, loves sausages and hates bananas.

[Lady Val @LadyVal40757578]

Looking for volunteer position for 46 year old man released after 25 years in prison. Nottingham based Although he did one serious crime we need to help him reintegrate back into society. Needs job as well. Anyone out there want to give him a chance to redeem himself & pay back?

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

I’m staying with Mr Fulham for a few days. We’re going to road test this beast tomorrow. We are both big fans of pork pies.

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

#DoingaCJ. It’s been a while.

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

I wonder what this person expects of a discounter’s sausages. They sound perfect for a beige buffet.

The #WickedStepmother & #UglySisters are organising a bit of a do for me dad. I’m not involved, why would I be? I’m only the oldest, the catalyst, the #SlidingDoors moment🤰🏻

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

This may end up being my first & last #TikTok

Check out CattyJacques's video! https://t.co/BJjftY3yV1

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

@JohnnyPusztai @BBCNottingham @markdennison I am ta.

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

@JohnnyPusztai So lovely to hear you on @BBCNottingham with @markdennison in #Sherwood

You’ve made my day! 😘

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

@StephenLev @JohnnyPusztai Oof!

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

Utterly delicious pork chipolata sausages from @JohnnyPusztai

It’s been a while…………

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

Also - totally related (haha) - I have an opening for a plus one. Sadly the current incumbent can’t make it.

Ideally someone happy to piss off the Wicked Stepmother. Not actually very difficult to do. Might even hire an escort. In for a penny etc. Bet they cost more than £1 💃🏻🕺🏻

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

#ThrowbackThursday #DoingaCJ

A family wedding is imminent so I’m working on my outfit. Even down to the nail polish on my toes.

Currently badly applied by me, ahead of getting the lovely Lucy to work her magic on me trotters. I think my usual slut red just won’t work. I know 😉

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

Naturally the leopard print sandals have never been worn & I’ve had them longer than I care to admit. I will confess that I was looking for winter boots at the time. I’m a living, breathing & tottering shoe mad cliché 🐆👠👡

[Johnny Pusztai @JohnnyPusztai]

English beef it’s coming home avit mi duckies nuf sez xx

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

Obviously the #FullEnglish wins hands down! I really don’t have to tell you that.

Cheers, Catty xxx

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

@JohnnyPusztai Morning Johnny! How are you? Can’t tell you how delighted I was to hear you on @BBCNottingham @sarahjulianotts!

Your conversation has just been repeated. I’ve not stopped grinning 😄

Let me know if you fancy meeting up for a cuppa. It would be lovely to see you.

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

Is there still a #Marmite shortage? In return for a little something to cover my expenses - I don’t happen to have a wealthy donor right now - I can pop some in the post for you. Or we can meet 🍵🎂☕️

Deal? At least we can shake on it now. Hands I mean 🙄 #HandsFaceSpace 🧼🙌🏻😷

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

@Richard_Newbold Morning! I think I heard a message from a Richard Newbold on yesterday morning’s @BBCRadMac show & wondered if it was you.

I’m guessing you’re free to listen at the weekend as @markdennison is having a well-earned break.

Hope you’re well x

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

@Richard_Newbold Have a virtual *hug* over the ether. I love the photos!

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

This one’s for @JohnnyPusztai x

[Catty Jacques @CattyJacques]

@bbctms @englandcricket @MichaelVaughan @philtufnell @abhijjw @Cricket_Mann @norcrosscricket @pakwakankar @ZaltzCricket Not 0620 then? ⬇️