나 버리지마.. 내가 잘못했어.. 나 이용해도 좋으니까 나 버리지만 말아줘… 나 너한테 사랑받는거 원하지도않아 그냥 나 사용해줘… 곁에만 있을게 내가 남자친구 아니여도 괜찮아 다른 남자랑 있어도 상관안해… 이대로 우리 관계 끝내지 말아줘.. 난 이제 너 없으면 ���될거 같아… 제발 부탁이야…
My therapist once told me to do something strange.
He said, "Write everything down as if you're dying in 30 minutes."
I laughed and said, "What? That's not true..."
But before I could finish, he shouted, "Are you out of your mind? I said you're dying. Write it down!"
His tone changed everything. I wanted to ask questions, but he yelled again, "Why are you wasting time on me? You have 29 minutes and 30 seconds left."
So I picked up my pen and started writing.
At first, I didn't know what to say. Then I wrote to my parents, my friend, my siblings. I wrote everything I never said out loud.
It was like all feelings came out at once.
When the 30 minutes were over my therapist told me to stop.
"Rest for fifteen minutes and then I'll tell you something."
I sat there breathing hard, eyes wet and totally uncontrollable heart beat. mind racing.
He gave me a glass of water and said, "Now read what you wrote."
I read it slowly. Every word was full of love, regret, and things left unsaid.
He then asked, "Why didn't you write to your boss? Or your exes? Or the people you complain about?"
I said, "Why would I write to them?"
He smiled and said, "Exactly. If they don't matter in your last moments, why do they matter so much now?"
Author unknown (shared from Facebook group)
Romantizan la depresión hasta que se dan cuenta que no es estar triste, llorar y ya. Es no poder levantarte de la cama, querer morir la mayor parte del tiempo, no tener energías, no tener ganas, no encontrarle el sentido a nada, descuidar tu higiene, recurrir a adicciones, etc