C

[President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro]

Sorry to break it to you kid, it's because of you. The moment you step away, everyone will put their phones down and immediately start having a subway party. You have rancid vibes and everyone senses it

[helen @helen]

replying to an email that’s been on my to do list every day for 2 months

[Katya @katya_zamo]

I still miss the days when posting on this app felt like shouting into an empty well instead of throwing a fist full of dried cat shit into the broken window of a vacant crack house

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

let’s experience technical difficulties with mama

[hayden palantir @heaven_toniight]

this mental health guru

[Bovril-Gesellschaft @BovrilG]

BBC Pidgin sticks the knife in

[Leah Dionne @leahdionne__]

It makes me sad that he’s been ringing the alarm of climate disaster for decades and everyone is just like ‘aw what a sweet old national treasure’ and ignoring him

[Toby Harnden @tobyharnden]

15 years since I was asked by @Telegraph to write a photo caption for a royal kiss and decided to go with something completely different that happened that day

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

this tumblr post being one of the greatest contributions to modern philosophy

[choppa 🛝 @choppaslide]

He looks like a dictator giving an evil speech

[Hunter Schwarz @hunterschwarz]

George Women Bush

[putasinghonit @putasinghonit]

irish mammys to their children who have moved to any part of england:

[∀ @PeakPiece31]

Wikipedia is the only website whose marketing strategy is threatening to kill itself if you don’t pay

[Josh @joshlufc91]

"what a patriot" what the fuck are you on about 😂😂