chuck

the moment i stop having fun with it i'll be done with it so like a potluck you need to come with it

[chuck @Cch630]

being 7 took quite the toll on me

[Brown Panther @drilliebobby]

Nobody in the tortilla industry has the balls to make a corn tortilla the size of a flour tortilla

[Alex @ajak1033]

The Spurs know how to TAKE the lead, they just don't know how to HOLD the lead. And that's really the most important part of the lead: the holding

[erika @yeeeerika]

george constanza summer (sandwiches, petty grievances, avoiding responsibility, pretzels, naps, lying)

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

food and drinks consumed in a movie theater doesn’t really go into your body. it goes into your movie theater body which is separate & holy and harm-proof

[777 @_garrettcharles]

my sister and I love being like “last night was a girls episode” aka nothing really crazy happened but we still fought with friends and talked about our weight for three hours

[randy @woahokrandy]

actually rosie I won the pageant fair and square

[Mo @fruitpibble]

i get horny off that movie theater popcorn

[cav empty @cavempty_]

going into work and hoping they see how sick i am and send me home. hoping they see how sick i am and put me down like a dog right there and bury me on company property before lunch even

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

My mild adult acne does not define me and neither does my posture I am nice

[Lena Dunham @lenadunham]

All adventurous women do.

[Bob @tweetsbybob_]

Me convincing people to watch the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

[Hadas Weiss @weiss_hadas]

i bring a sort of “none of this means anything” vibe to the workplace that no one there appreciates

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

trying to flush 414,000 kitkat bars down the toilet as the cops are surrounding my house

[mollie writes stuff @vuse_lover]

I have to go on a walk every day or else

[𝔡𝔢𝔷𝔦 @schmezi]

this too shall turn into a whole thing

[rowan @calicosmall]

It's saying my dasher hasn't been born yet

[ຸ @swagboygen]

i hope this email blows your head smoove off

[Graham @GrahamC47]

don’t talk to me like that, I’m in the coveted 18-34 advertising demographic

[chuck @Cch630]

man in front of me at TSA said to the agent “how are we feeling about belts today”

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

at my desk silently saying “what the hell are you even talking about” every time i receive an email. even if it’s an email i understand and was expecting