Cláudia Mendes

Slow-traveling mix of Brazilian and American, with the sharpest tongue of the Wild West. Polyglot, journalist and marketeer currently conquering the world.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

My life. All so boring. Then all of a sudden I break a tooth, move to a diff country and get married, all in two days. #totallynormal

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

No matter what the question is, the answer is always chocolate. #chocolate #addiction

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

So I got my mom addicted to mad men. Got home after a weekend and she was caught up. I'm still on season 6. Huge mistake.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

@CaraFnParrish Miss Cara, my lovely. I've been trying to reach you. Got a proposition. Message me when you can? MUACK!

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

Whenever @buffer asks me "what do you want to share" and I'm eating : Get lost, this cake is mine. Claudia doesn't share food.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

@BilalBudhani @CobieSmulders holy shizz that's disturbing! Still a no go. Jusaying.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

There are comebacks I should have thought of at a particular time, that still haunt me at night. Man, do I wish I could use them now.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

Figured out my good deed of the year. Gonna eat more so that obesity doesn't spread.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

If you do see me inside a mall : I was kidnapped. I decided to visit my dad, and I'm probably drunk while doing it. I lost my will to live.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

I will never understand people who actually enjoy going to a mall. Seriously. WHY?

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

That friend that goes - "You order desert. I'll just steal a bite or two". Stay....away...from...my...food.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

#SoOneTimeMyDad used a family football game to kick my boyfriend at the time as hard as he could. Still says it was an accident.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. #stuffweallneedtoremember

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

Snaccidents are the real deal. I mean, I accidentaly ate an entire bag of Cheetos. And chips. With guacamole. And snickers. Total accident.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

I take everything back. It's been so cold, that I'm considering getting married.
#suchalady #romanceisundermyskin #soaremypills

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

Recently acquired pick up lines: Your daddy must have been a drug dealer, 'cos you're dope.
#sobeautiful #andphilosophical

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

Current no-goes: less than 10 mugs of coffee a day, relationships, life without 3 blankets on top of me #coldasshit #thanksbrazil

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

That whole "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade" deal is BULLSHIT. When life gives you lemons you curse the shit out of that crap.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

@prisharma25 yeah. HAHA. Quit being a care bear, woman.

[Cláudia Mendes @CeeceeMendes]

@dustbury I never stop moving. Let's see if I get to get rid of it all hahahaha