Comanche Cervantes

fan #1 de pacho el borracho

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

My toddler loves Monsters Inc. especially Mike Wazowski.

Yesterday I was in Walmart and came across this cool t-shirt.

I immediately bought it, put it on in the car, and rushed home to show my toddler.

I hunted her down as soon as I came through the door.

She was sitting on the couch watching Hogi and eating Goldfish crackers.

I said, ‘Libby check out my cool new shirt!’

I was beaming. I just knew she was gonna think my shirt was the coolest shit ever.

She looked at me, looked at my shirt, scoffed, and yelled, ‘GO AWAY!’

Listen.

I don’t think we talk enough about what huge pieces of shit toddlers are.

That’s literally my TV you are watching.
I paid for those Goldfish crackers.
That’s my fucking couch.

I bought this cool t-shirt ONLY because of you.

And this is your response you f#ggot piece of sh!t??

You are wearing a shirt with a turtle on it that says, ‘Turtley Adorable’ you fuck!ng idiot.

You are broke.
Homeless.
Have poor life skills.
You can’t even fucking speak English.

You are basically a Somali immigrant only brighter in complexion and with much less forehead mass.

I’ll wipe my ass with this shirt.

Fuck this shirt.

Bitch nigga.

Your mom is fat.

[Fiorella 💚 @fiore__lla]

Dijo absolutamente nadie

[patagucci perf papi @kenwheeler]

if you’ve ever worked in open floorplan, this is basically the fuckin four seasons

[Comanche Cervantes @CervantHector]

te amo tony aguirre eres lo máximo

[Punko 01 @Punko_01]

Ludwig Kaiser el 30 de Mayo intentando llegar a Monterrey:

[MentalidadFeroz @MentalidadFeroz]

En un partido de fútbol en Rumanía, un aficionado apareció en una entrevista con un león real.

Año 2000.

[Pasion Celeste @MakinaAzulMx]

“YA TIENE NOVIO PROFE JAJAJA”

JAJJAAJAJAJAJ PTM ME SIGO CAGANDO DE RISA ESTÁS VIENDO QUE SE LO ESTÁN LLEVANDO HOMBRES ARMADOS Y COMENTAS ESO EN LIVE VETE ALV

[Ｍ ΛＲＴΞ @marte_p86]

$34 pesos unos Kranky
TREINTA Y CUATRO

No tienen madre
Oriné en la coladera, cabrones.

[Comanche Cervantes @CervantHector]

al que se le haya ocurrido lo de “árbitro profesional próx en Tuxtla” para cubrir los anuncios de pre-campaña, es un GENIO jajajajaj

[Comanche Cervantes @CervantHector]

que ganas de trabajar en una boletera, nomas tengo que chingar gente y ya

[John Bummit, PhD. @JohnBummit]

Real niggas put 4 beers on the company card and label it as "lunch" #airportbeer #charlotte #REALnigga

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

I wanna have a beer with your dad.

[Comanche Cervantes @CervantHector]

hoy le regalé un Drone al doctor, lo estrelló en los primeros 3 min contra una pared

[Comanche Cervantes @CervantHector]

Dios premia al paciente, y hoy me RAYÉ

[LaPala @LaPala325678]

15 años tenia el hijo de su madre

[Comanche Cervantes @CervantHector]

lo de la marimba en el aeropuerto está completamente de más, pero se goza

[malibU𒌐 @Keveki777]

Ah chinga, apretó todos los botones.