Abdoul💙

a happy Chelsea fan

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[hasbullacueta @CFChasbulla]

How can Argentina be champions of the world when the European champions didn't qualify?

[Intern gbogbo HR @tundeskie]

If dem ever ask me the exact moment I knew I wasn’t ready for soft life, it was the first time I entered plane to Abuja.
That flight humbled me. Mentally, physically, and gastrointestinally.

I got to the airport fresh. I even use tie. Shades: check. Neck pillow wey I borrow o. Steeze: heavy.

First they say make we proceed to boarding gate o, naso I face entrance door😭.
I even asked the security man, his name na Dami Dami, I said I was looking for “Door 2”. They guy just dey look me.

I managed to get to the gate

Wahala was already warming up on the runway.

I entered the plane, to put bag for up, my hand no reach. Who I wan call like this 😭. Somebody sha helped me. I sat by the window, before I even see my seat sef😭. A fine babe sat beside me, and I adjusted well. I was already imagining our love story starting at 30,000 feets🌚

Then, seatbelt wahala started.
The way I fought that thing, e be like I was trying to defuse b0mb, weda dey swear for the belt o. I clip am, e unclip. I shift am, e jam. I finally just pressed it together with small violence. The babe looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, pretending like I wasn’t sweating under my shirt. That girl go don enter plane reach 897 times.

Then the plane started moving. Slowly at first.
I was like, “E easy na.”
Then speed entered.

Omo.
I didn’t know when I screamed softly, “Ah!” 😭
My back jammed the seat. My aboki glass fell. My neck pillow nearly fly go back patapata.

And just when I thought I was recovering...

Stomach say it’s time.

I don’t know if it was the airport meat pie or spiritual consequences, but something in my belly started misbehaving.

I tried to hold it like a strong man. You know that tight-butt-cheek posture when your soul is fighting your intestines?
I crossed my legs. Uncrossed. Sat up. Leaned back. Nothing worked. Sweat dey my forehead like say dem plug me near stove.

And then it happened.

Just as the plane lifted for takeoff, one tiny fart escaped me.

Ptwwww.
Not loud. But powerful. 😭

It floated in the air like silent judgment.

I saw the babe beside me pause... then slowly turned her head and covered her nose.
That’s when I knew…
I had messed up. Literally.

Shame hold me like police.
I pretended to be confused too. I even fanned my nose small like, “Ah, what’s that smell?” But that girl know say na me mess 😂

The aircraft knew. God knew. Even the pilot in front probably felt it. 💀

I wanted to ask where the toilet was, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to stand up and expose myself.

So I sat there.
Suffering.
In silence.
Holding everything together with the help of my belt and pride.

The whole flight, I no chop, I no drink, I no even breathe deep. Anytime air hostess pass, I just smiled like person wey no dey experience inner destruction.

When we landed, I stood up like a pensioner. Legs shaking, stomach still bubbling.
As I walked out, I heard the babe whisper, “Thank God it was short.”
I don’t know if she meant the flight or the smell. I just kept walking.

I no see number collect. I even happy

[Vince™ @Blue_Footy]

‼️ Xavi Simons has agreed personal terms ahead of a possible move to Stamford Bridge.

~ @JacobsBen

[ICAN Success With Akin Obilana @AObilana]

If you are sitting for ICAN Nov 2025 diet exams, and you can see this post, repost the QUOTED POST for visibility. Even if you are not sitting for ICAN exams, please repost.

ICAN needs to give us an answer before this week runs out.

[Maddox @Maddox_CFC]

Guess who’s apparently the "best" midfielder in the world right now 😂

[Nasarr @__nasarr]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

So no be Spurs good , na Man Utd just useless .

[Conn @ConnCFC]

It might be early morning but it’s still a great time to give everyone a friendly reminder that Chelsea football club are the champions of the world

[OBAMA🇬🇭🇺🇸 @Yo__Obamaa1]

You won’t believe spurs has played more European finals than Barcelona in the last ten years.

[CFC-Blues @CFCBlues_com]

Two years ago today, Enzo Fernandez vs Liverpool 😮‍💨🇦🇷

[Chessy Hour® ☆☆ @ChessyHour]

Nike / Chelsea have decided to move the CWC badge up and it looks much smarter now. Love it.

[CFC Pics @Mohxmmad]

Neto, Hato, Wes & Enzo ⚡️

[CFC-Blues @CFCBlues_com]

One month ago today, Chelsea became the only London team to beat PSG this year 💙

[Alex Goldberg @GoldbergCFC]

ADMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[Uber Chelsea FC @UberChelseaFC_]

Chelsea remain the only team in London to have won the Super Cup.

We see things they’ll never see.

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

#OnThisDay exactly one month ago, Chelsea beat PSG in the Club World Cup final! 🔵🏆

[Myrah 💙 @AbisolaOwoyomi]

Olowo kan laarin awon otoshi London 😔🤦🏼💙