I think after this year after i figure out the plan I’m letting go of a lot of people in my life i don’t want unnecessary stress or distractions i’m tired of people and feeling done wrong or having these thoughts about people just talking bad about me.
You know my ex called and asked me questions and said we were best friends she asked what was wrong and i said i had a dream about that girl i was with a few months ago and i woke up it was all a bad dream and i was left after our conversation just really sad all day and upset.
I just tried to love and yet once again i was left. Being called weird obsessed being too much like sorry i tried? Sorry i listened sorry i gave you my time my love my everything sorry for the flowers sorry for being genuine for you.
My fault i’ll just be the bad guy now.
I been trying and trying and i feel like i gotta let loose of the grip i have on things because i’m lost i genuinely don’t understand why things are the way they are for me right now.
I know i have my problems but i loved you genuinely and i cared about you genuinely i tried my best to be happy around you regardless of my situation i miss buying you flowers and getting to see you.
I really don’t think i deserved what happened to me it genuinely hurts me everytime i think about it and of course you would think just move on or don’t think about it but for some reason it’s always brought up.
That’s so crazy my own dad not owning up for being on drugs and being a alcoholic when i was 13-14-15-16-17-18 and still probably till this day saying i had a good childhood and i was spoiled that’s crazy i remember in highschool having nothing couch surfing friends places.