Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator

From Chicago. Living in Florida.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

Real talk, this water tastes like Malort.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

I wish I was back in Chicago. I'd have exclusive run of the park, and not surrounded by a bunch of Floridians sneezing on me who think Coronavirus is just the flu.

Anyway, support this campaign back home and help some medical professionals kick COVID ass: https://t.co/2ZlWbm3mGJ

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

INT. FLORIDA GATOR PENTHOUSE, NIGHT

Chance drops into his hot tub and cracks open a Hamm’s. He smiles.

CUT TO:

EXT. HUMBOLDT LAGOON, NIGHT

Alligator Bob stuffs another stick of dynamite into a chicken leg and tosses it into the water. He pushes back tears.

FADE OUT.

The End

[Block Club Chicago @BlockClubCHI]

Watch our perfect chunky angel Chance the Snapper explore his new home in Florida (honestly it made us weepy) https://t.co/aac0Sw60HY

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

That Pequod’s goes straight to your hips.

It’s a feature, not a bug.

[Amanda Biela @amandabiela15]

“He is a little bit on the chunky side as well,” a gator expert at the farm told First Coast News. As Chicagoans, we’d expect nothing less.

Truth there. @ChanceDeSnapper is a true Chicagoan.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

Someone just sent me this notification Aw, you guys are still tracking me??

Wait, no one told Bob about this, right? I’m not sure he’s given up on finding me.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

@JustinaWhitney They are taking me here: https://t.co/vhjxdLW9DK

And I'm sure you can address Chicago postcards ATTN: Chance The Snapper

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

Yah but is there Malort?

[Block Club Chicago @BlockClubCHI]

Chance the Snapper is heading for "a life of luxury" in Florida, Alligator Robb says https://t.co/GDSmTJ5EFP

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

But I can only get 3-star Ubers to get me there?

[Block Club Chicago @BlockClubCHI]

Chance the Snapper will be living in a "five-star resort for crocodilians" after he leaves Chicago today.
https://t.co/GDSmTJ5EFP

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

@yourmandaniel @mipolitico Y’all are jealous in Michigan

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

@amandabiela15 Some alligators are tired of high taxes, too.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

I’m really gonna miss this place. But you know what they say:

You can take the gator out of Humboldt Park Lagoon but you can’t ever wash the stink away so it’s impossible to forget where you came from even if you tried really hard—not that you would want to.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

Also, I’m kinda looking forward to my own straight-to-streaming movie “Gators On A Plane” based on the shenanigans I’m planning for tomorrow.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

Chicago, this past week has been amazing. I am honored to have been the mascot you didn’t ask for, it apparently needed. Thanks for looking for me and for finding me. I feel seen.

[Block Club Chicago @BlockClubCHI]

Heartbreaking news: Chance the Snapper is moving to Florida for good on Thursday.
https://t.co/GDSmTJ5EFP

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

@HipHopFan79 I think we all know how that ends. Bob shows up to chanting crowds, wanders around the ring for a while as I watch. Chanting intensifies. Frank drops in from the ceiling, hooks me, silencing the crowd. Then, in a surprise move, together we beat the living shit out of Bob.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

We know he can catch, we’re about to find out if he can throw.

Oh, also, not mentioned in the article is the fact that he will indeed throw me.

[Block Club Chicago @BlockClubCHI]

Alligator catcher to throw out first pitch at Wrigley Field tonight as victory lap begins https://t.co/pDSXSs8re2

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

@psychicken @averystgermaine And just like that I’m considering a Lord Thunderpants tattoo.

[Alex V Hernandez @AVHndz]

SUPPORT LOCAL JOURNALISM!!!!
https://t.co/dEGI80tWX0

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

@padschicago @shellyBmedia @NancyLoo @humboldtgator You do what ya gotta do on Twitter. It’s a swamp out there.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

@MiloTheArgument

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

Look, I appreciate everyone’s passion around my situation, but if you free me, I’m just going back to the lagoon and this whole circus begins again.

Maybe direct your hubris on more pressing things. Like, Area 51.

[Chance The Snapper - The Humboldt Gator @ChanceDeSnapper]

Ummmmmm.... he didn’t do it alone. I was instrumental in this operation.

[Alex V Hernandez @AVHndz]

@BlockClubCHI @mina_bloom_ @BauerJournalism by @mina_bloom_. Frank Robb, Chicago’s newest celebrity after breezing into town and catching #ChanceTheSnapper in a day, will throw the first pitch during tonight's @Cubs game at Wrigley Field. https://t.co/XEvejSDmUU via @BlockClubCHI