Chelsea T

Mama 👶 Wife 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 Doggy Mama 🐕🐩

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

@allliecop noooo i'm binging it too. i'm on season 7

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

@allliecop 100%

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

@Google locked me out of my account 3 days ago (wtf?!) and I've realized how much trust I put in one company - my contacts, photos of my son, emails, etc. - with no way to speak to a human on the phone to get things resolved! I need to un-Google my life ASAP!

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

Can we just all agree to "manly" handshakes?? So sick of being on the receiving end of a wet noodle.

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

2020 in a nutshell:

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

Actual footage of me sitting in a chair pretending I'm getting a pedicure. Where are the black market nail salons??

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

Me: Whew, is it Friday yet?
Them: It's literally Monday
Me:

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

@sara_sahara Now's the time! You're home to train a tiny ball of floof that doesn't know where to pee yet.

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

Everyone's like "I cleaned my entire apartment," "I baked 100 cookies," "I alphabetized my CD collection from middle school". And I'm over here working a full-time job and watching an infant wondering just how many hours the clocks were turned back.

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

TBH I kind of wish I was on a deserted island right about now. I wouldn't have to worry about contact with other people and I would have an awesome tan. Win-win.

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

New reality show - The Real World: I Forgot I Was Cooking. This episode - Cauliflower Rice Burned to the Pan. Stay tuned for next week!

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

@sara_sahara I've had a cough for 2 weeks now. I was told that I'm fine....

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

@sara_sahara At least they can't see you

[Baltimore Ravens @Ravens]

We're going to make one lucky fan's Christmas VERY merry❗️

RT to win this signed @Lj_era8 jersey❗️

A gift for the best fans in the world 🎁

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

@sara_sahara

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

Now I know why moms wake up at 4am. It's the only time they can drink their entire cup of coffee in peace.

[Laura Perlongo @LauraPerlongo]

motherhood is packing every permutation of outfit for each potential activity scenario (including stuff you have 15% chance of doing) for your children and looking down at the pants you’ve worn for 3 months straight and saying ‘eh these’ll do’

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

@sara_sahara

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

Welp. I guess I will never drink an entire cup of coffee while it's hot ever again. #momprobs

[Chelsea T @ChelseaTable]

They were wrong. You CAN cry over spilled (breast)milk. #momlife