🦄

Dad. Developer. Lover of unnecessarily bright socks. Taller than you.

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@MooseAllain I bought a garden furniture set a couple of weeks ago. A table, four chairs, four stools. Got an identical Allen key for each. All in the same box 😑😐

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@GaryDelaney Legit read this as “ball bag” on first scan 😬😆

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@mmccourty Ha! Amazing 😆

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@mmccourty “Why is the production database 2gb before anyone’s even started using it?”

“… well, that’s just the sluts. We’ve not even begun all the possible locations of MILFs yet”

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@elonmusk return [] - should do it for me 👍

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@_Enanem_ We have the same game but with DPD vans / lorries etc… which gets extremely painful when we drive past the massive DPD depot just down the road from us.

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@russian_market @this_vid

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@ItsDanThomas @this_vid

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

@Skratch @this_vid

[Olly Gibbs @OllyGibbs]

I don't know why I made this. #Boris

[Tim Burgess @Tim_Burgess]

So. @BorisJohnson just said that ‘most people would accept and agree’ with what Dominic Cummings did.
Please answer and retweet.
Do you accept and agree with what Dominic Cummings did?

[SheRatesDogs @SheRatesDogs]

Fuck I’m losing it😭😭😭

[Paul Graham @paulg]

An amazing demonstration of the skill of Andrew Jack, who died of the coronavirus in March. His accent changes in real time.

https://t.co/qhwK1BlF2k

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

OH MY GOD THE TIMING!

[Domenico @AvatarDomy]

The greatest shot in television ever

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

* Comes in from doing something
* Washes hands thoroughly
* Sound of running water makes me need a wee
* Has wee
* Has to wash hands thoroughly again no less than 2 mins after finishing first hand washing

Every. Fucking. Time.

[Nick de Semlyen @NickdeSemlyen]

Stone-cold Brooklyn 99 genius.

[Nish Kumar @MrNishKumar]

Boris Johnson doing these announcements feels like when the Fresh Prince would do a “serious” episode.

[🦄 @Chief__Unicorn]

Please watch this to the end...

[Stan Collymore @StanCollymore]

Watch it.

Watch it.

Watch it.

And then THINK.