Chill Crave

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[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

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[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

I always wonder what they are lined up sniffing..😁

[AJEBO @_heisajebo]

The way I cackle every time I see Naté Jones, and Vanessa Bell Calloway on screen together. My new fave I ain’t missed a minute since the Atlanta finale.❤️ All ‘em Ohio Eastside ladies be cleaning up real nice.

[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

Still trying to understand what he did to make all those school mothers fall for him like that.

[AJEBO @_heisajebo]

Me: I’m a disabled veteran

Judge: yeah, every veteran is disabled.

Me: My disabilities are permanent, I was
medically retired from the military due to combat injuries.

Judge: yeah, I know, 100% P&T, everyone has that.

Me: no, like I went to combat, got injured, & the Navy had to retire me as if I did 20 years & take full responsibility for my incurable disabilities.

Judge: yeah okay, so what do you do for work?

Me: 🤦‍♀️ I AM RETIRED DUE TO BEING DISABLED FROM COMBAT, I CANNOT WORK.

Judge: Ohhhh…

[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

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[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

Her son's instincts were never wrong, but she naively paid no attention until it was too late.

[AJEBO @_heisajebo]

Applying for an apartment in America is hilarious.

The landlord wants proof you make three times the rent.

You make twice the rent.

They want a credit score of 750.

Yours is recovering from a medical bill.

They want a security deposit, first month's rent, last month's rent, and what feels like a small offering to the ancestors.

Then they ask if you have any pets.

You say no.

They ask if you smoke.

You say no.

They ask if you've ever been evicted.

You say no.

They review your application for 11 days and reject you because your income is "inconsistent."

My brother I'm applying for a place to sleep not a mortgage on the moon c'mon...

[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

She never imagined that her husband, just back from the front line, would immediately yearn for the maid instead of her.

[AJEBO @_heisajebo]

The papers came on a Tuesday. My wife was suing me. The word on the first page was "rape."

I stood in my kitchen and said out loud, "I never forced her."

My lawyer asked me to walk him through it. So I did and somewhere in the middle of my own explanation, I heard myself.

She'd say: "I don't want to have sex."

I'd say: "Come on we haven't in weeks, Just once you owe me." She eventually gives in. I told myself that meant she wanted to.

In her statement she wrote:
"He never hit me. He never had to. He pressured me until I broke. He made me feel guilty for not wanting him. I learned that no doesn't mean no. It just means try harder."

My lawyer slid the page across the table. "Is any of this untrue?"
I wanted to say yes. I couldn't.

[Luminar @_sheisluminar]

I went on maternity leave for three months after training my replacement, a junior hire I personally mentored and advocated for.

Before I left, my boss assured me my desk and senior client accounts were completely secure.

I popped into the office unannounced today to drop off cupcakes and introduce my newborn to the team.

While I was in the breakroom, my replacement left her laptop open on the counter.

An email notification popped up on her screen from our Director:

“Great job taking over her portfolio. Once her leave ends, we’ll move her to junior support so you can keep the lead role permanently.”

My replacement walked into the breakroom holding a Welcome Back Soon! card signed by the whole team.

I'm staring at her with my baby in my arms right now.

[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

Proof that real life is often much scarier and stranger than fiction. James Nesbitt and Genevieve O'Reilly were incredible in ITV's The Secret.

[AJEBO @_heisajebo]

A senior guy on my team set up a GoFundMe page one month ago claiming his daughter needed specialized out-of-state medical treatment.

Raising over $15,000 from everyone in our 50-person office. We all chipped in $100 to $500 each, including our VP.

I ran into his ex-wife today at a local grocery store and politely asked how their daughter was doing after the treatment.

She looked at me in total shock and said their daughter has been completely healthy playing travel soccer all year and that they’ve been finalizing their divorced going to a year now.

He used the money to pay off his personal credit cards and buy a brand-new jet ski.

I told a few of my close buddies at work already. I’d love to see his lying ass on Monday.

[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

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[Chill Crave @Chillyyal]

He caught his wife in the car during a secret affair. What happened next was anything but friendly.

[Abbey Afolabi @mighty_abbey]

He tried to kiss her in front of her father👀👇🏾🎥🍿

[AJEBO @_heisajebo]

𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭:
𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐄.