Chip Allen

Still Short. Formerly Fat. Still Awesome. Neither a grower nor a shower.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

@luisjgomez Got 3 day passes for my son and I for his 21st birthday last year. We'll go every year. The price is probably low for what you get. My only complaint is that I was too slow to get VIP passes.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

@luisjgomez I got 3 day passes last year for my son and I for his 21st birthday. We’re never not going again. 3 day fest with 13 hours+ of entertainment a day from the best comics in the biz. $700 is low. I’m just pissed I wasn’t quick enough to get VIP passes.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

It’s weird how people who post divisive shit get all “I don’t let politics get in the way of friendship!” when they get called on their bullshit.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

Thanks to @WBBJ7News for preemptting the Oscars tonight for storm reporting on a mild rain that caused exactly zero problems. Quit putting bald vest on TV during storms. Put relevant info on the chyron and keep normal programming on screen.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

@WBBJ7News we’ve been through storms. We have them 6 times a year. I don’t need the vest on TV. Put info on a chyron and put the Oscars back on. Nobody cares. We know what to do. And you CANNOT WATCH ON HULU OR https://t.co/aDenbSsUe0. It’s still Joel’s dumb vest on both of those

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

@GusGoodTimesDel @anthebaker Sounds like a night at the Lap in 1993

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

This douche canoe is the world’s largest chode. What an embarrassment.

[Jake Lang - January 6 Political Prisoner 🇺🇸 @JakeLang]

I’m currently being arrested outside the Minnesota State Capitol for turning the

“PROSECUTE ICE” sign the Democrats erected

Into the wonderful

“PRO ICE” 🧊❤️

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

The incomparable @MJMcKean is the GOAT. That man has been killing it since I was 3 years old. Lenny on Laverne & Shirley, David St. Hubbins, SNL, all the Christopher Guest mockumentaries, Better Call Saul, and a thousand other things. This man doesn’t get the flowers he deserves.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

Nobody can convince me that Scott Bessent isn’t an Andy Kaufman/Tony Clifton level Will Ferrell bit.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

I was, am, and will forever be a Duffamaniac.

[PFRPA @ThePFRPA]

Retired NFL Player Bill Duff shared his thoughts about civil rights and unity.

To learn more about PFRPA's civil rights vision, visit https://t.co/uwqJ51wF7P.

#civilrights #NFL

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

@ProjectLincoln Jos. A. Wank

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

@kaia_hubbard @GrahamKates

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

@YouTubeTV I dont care about your and @Disney’s dick waving pissing contest. Without espn and abc I and every other SEC football fan will have to find another option. You have until 8:45 am eastern then I’m out.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

I’m shocked that neither @danielvankirk nor @SklarBrothers picked up that the chick that broke the sink fucking in Seminole, FL has the same name as Sharon Stone’s character in Basic Instinct. Violent sex seems to come with the name. #dumbpeopletown

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

@Big_Orange_Bush @YouTubeTV @espn You’ll have 2 options to watch on the espn app. ESPN+ or SECN+. Chose SECN+ option and login with YouTubeTV as your “cable provider” and you don’t have to pay for it.

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

Libtards who are up in arms about Trump calling in the National Guard to Washington DC because of rampant crime and danger are living in a fantasy world. It’s so bad in DC that last week a convicted rapist and accused pedophile was wandering around on the roof of the White House!

[S.V. Dáte @svdate]

I have learned I have a Massive trade Deficit with Trader Joe’s! Every month I Buy hundreds of Dollars WORTH of groceries* from them and They buy Nothing from ME!! From now On I will charge myself An extra 15 percent on my purchases!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

Totally normal and not the ravings of a nervous lunatic at all…

[Chip Allen @Chip_Allen]

Don't let Trump see this. He'll try to book her at Mar-a-lago.

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

30 years ago. @SullivanNicole on Mad TV.