Colby

[Getty Images News @GettyImagesNews]

President #DonaldTrump holds notes while speaking to the media before departing the White House for Texas 📷: Mark Wilson #QuidProQuo

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

"Ha ha! A guy who was mean to me got his house robbed! HA HA HA HA HA!" -- a United States President

[Colin Hanks @ColinHanks]

Statement by a Christian minister. https://t.co/0wxsonrUtw

[Colby @ChocoColby]

@astrochris Hopdoddy

[Colby @ChocoColby]

Eggplant is disgusting, even in baba ganoush.

[Colby @ChocoColby]

@astrochris what are you replacing lappy with

[Colby @ChocoColby]

because kyle is wearing oven mitts

[Colby @ChocoColby]

@astrochris i hope so

[Colby @ChocoColby]

@astronoman why are you reading a handbook on abortion?

[Colby @ChocoColby]

who has two thumbs and a tummy full of meatballs? This guy!

[Colby @ChocoColby]

yay! the babydog is not dead! :)

[Colby @ChocoColby]

I sure am on twitter an awful lot given the amount that I tweet. I can be classified as a "creeper".

[Colby @ChocoColby]

@jkru do you like my picture?

[Colby @ChocoColby]

twitter. woo.

[Colby @ChocoColby]

@jkru you could have just left it by the car

[Colby @ChocoColby]

@jkru that was super fun can i help

[Colby @ChocoColby]

at work for the first time in 3 weeks :(

[Colby @ChocoColby]

I just let @jkru put make up on me. She's not very good at it because I look like I have a blotchy tan