zardoz

I put the sex in dyslexia

[Craig Considine @CraigCons]

Some people hope the #Munich gunmen are white Christians, others hope they're brown Muslims. This is exactly what's wrong with our world.

[Calvin and Hobbes Fan Account @Calvinn_Hobbes]

Me right now

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Dog chat:
1. He/she's lovely!
2. Name?
3. What breed?
4. How old?
-end-

[zardoz @chris_flack]

More lies and negativity one assumes.

[John Rentoul @JohnRentoul]

"Scruffy, old-fashioned, weak": Nuneaton focus groups' verdict on Corbyn @Independent https://t.co/yJZIWM27sJ

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@TLRailUK can you let me know whether a driver is available for the 0534 Bedford train from redhill tomorrow please

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@TLRailUK please try to organise yourselves better, so that you're not cancelling trains due to lack of drivers. This occurs with regularity

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@thelenprice3 Central Park avenue, off pattens lane?

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@TLRailUK hi is the 0504 Bedford train from redhill running on time this morning?

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@TLRailUK is there a driver available to cover the service at that time for the remainder of the week? So I can plan my journeys...

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@TLRailUK no need to apologise. Please explain the reason for the shortage. Bad planning or bad staff?

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@TLRailUK Bedford, calling at redhill 0534.

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@TLRailUK my train (which I rely on to get to work on time) is cancelled due to crew shortage. Are you recruiting drivers? I may need a job.

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@BTPEssex @greateranglia that'll stop em

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@TLRailUK do you clean your trains overnight? The carriage is littered with old papers & cans etc

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@PaigeHathaway I went out to get pizza 🍕🍕

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@JulietteLewis their wonkers

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@JulietteLewis when are you gonna play in London? ⚡️⚡️

[zardoz @chris_flack]

@Southern_Trains your inability to run a timely train service is consistent. Luckily the conductor is inaudibly whispering the "reason"