Chris

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

@42Cyc @tomfrost1

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

Turf him out now.

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 NEW: Andy Burnham has revealed his go-to Greggs order is the Sausage, Bean and Cheese Melt

[giraffe @neckincrisis]

mind your own fucking business

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

@ambergambler_ Carrot nonce.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

This guy needs to speak to @ambergambler_ - she'll get it sorted.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

@ambergambler_ Say what? A hole? And that's why they weighed 440g less than the prescribed amount?

I feel duped.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

Day one: Implement a no dog on the beds policy.

Day two: Get home from a conference to find kiddo and doggo tucked up together. 😍

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

Got a dog. Three hours later the dog is eating filet mignon.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

I want an official potato and chip partner.

[Metro @MetroUK]

Sarah Ferguson had ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with disgraced rapper Diddy https://t.co/vL10l8cP8G

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

On a road trip to North Wales with an elderly grandparent. Had my head pecked about everything from Starmer (yawn) to why a Toyota Yaris is the best car (also yawn) and now they're trying to ban nuggets having pulled out some corned beef sandwiches. Send help.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

Kiddo walking into the kitchen for her pancakes after waking me up at half six with a five star frog splash.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

Magnificent stuff when you're nursing the world's worst hangover.

[Out Of Context Snooker @OOCSnooker]

State of it 😭

[Link🇻🇦 @ZeldaZealot]

Runs in the family I guess

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

@ambergambler_ @JohnTravol38191 Probably too busy doing a violence. She does that, John. Be careful.

[Cian ☘️🇾🇪 @Cian_McGivern]

Matt Le Tissiers wife lying next to him telling him to go to sleep while he argues with an AI bot

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

@ambergambler_ @JohnTravol38191 Jesus. It's John Travolta.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

@ambergambler_ These just blessed my feed again. God bless the algorithm.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

@ambergambler_ I'm not convinced you really want out of this meeting, you know.

[Chris @ChrisB180716]

@ambergambler_ What we thinking? I'll get my story straight.