Chris Borris

I'm not anybody but I’m also not nobody.

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

My grandfather fought so that I could be free to dip a donut in this glass of wine.

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

Wouldn’t it be hilarious if everything worked out ok?

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

The funniest thing a comedian can say is that comedy’s not going as well as they thought it would.

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

I get all of my legal guidance from Reels.

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

Undiagnosed doesn’t mean no problemo.

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

Elon is like the AI version of a human.

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

@anna_borris That’s the real plan

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

If there is an invasion I’m moving to Renfrew. Nobody fucks with Renfrew.

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

@KrankySports @YukYuksOttawa Thank you for coming to the show!

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

@KrankySports @YukYuksOttawa We’ll do our worst!

[Yuk Yuk's Comedy Club Ottawa @YukYuksOttawa]

#Ottawa #NewYearsEve @BiagiosOttawa

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

Get your tickets to this one before they’re gone!

https://t.co/uP0PWp2FD2

They’re going fast

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

Tickets are never really actually going fast

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

I’m easily one of the top 200 comedians in Ottawa.

[Yuk Yuk's Comedy Club Ottawa @YukYuksOttawa]

This Saturday night at 10pm with the TERRIBLE Chris Borris! @ChrisBorris 🗑 🤮
You'll hate this show! It's truly HORRIBLE! Not recommended!
Below @BiagiosOttawa #Ottawa
Tickets, or not, whatever ----‐---- https://t.co/tAC4MxiB8W

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

Life can be horrible. Come out and laugh at it.

https://t.co/uP0PWp2FD2

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

I could Koresh just saying

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

David Koresh should have just tried stand up.

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

Or maybe more comedians should David Koresh

[Dan McCormick @tvmoviedan]

@YukYuksOttawa

[Chris Borris @ChrisBorris]

Ever notice nobody’s naming their kids Orenthal anymore?