Chris Scheld

You hate to see it

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

Fan sneaked tequila into the stadium in a flask disguised as a mobile. Mexicans are light years ahead of us.

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@Kevin_Traynor A motivational speaking tour would be the stuff of legend

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@NicholasMancusi Mmm, whatcha say...

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@EinarRetentive Absolutely wild

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@boomertang @AaronQuinn716 He's taking time away from football to get himself a cabinet position, haha

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@EinarRetentive @antichud Ma'am, that's not the type of "special education" that we were expecting

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

Cars with driver assist features need a NY-area mode:

"Yes he is in my blind spot but this is the most space I am going to get"

"I am not departing the lane, this highway was just built 100 years ago for a car that was 4 feet wide"

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

Extremely niche and accurate

[Steve @Srechter7]

When I go to the “for you” tab:

Baseball
Baseball
Baseball
Random sport
Baseball
Baseball
HITLER WAS RIGHT—100k likes
Baseball
Baseball

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@EinarRetentive Always good to be buckled in in a car crash

[Paul Watson @paul_c_watson]

Man sits by me on train.
MAN: Loads of psychopaths around here
ME: Really?
MAN: Loads mate
ME: How'd you know?
MAN: There's signs aren't there?
ME: I guess?
MAN: I love them
(47 minutes of awkward silence.)
Man leaves train, he has a bike. I realise he was saying 'cycle paths'.

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@Kevin_Traynor Dead. I think I died

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

Let's talk about how broken this stupid platform is. The Mets and Braves are in the middle of an intense wildcard race, and if you search for tweets about the Braves, you get exactly 1 (!!!) from within the past 24 hours

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@StabbyDuck613 @TCMcG Most of her face is only 5-10 years old tho

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@StabbyDuck613 Issue is that "horrible" is a dramatic understatement. Worst play call in NU history?

(You still can't fire him after 2 games)

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

@StabbyDuck613 C'mon now, let's not get too dreamy

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

Just me, or has the Twitter search function has gotten laughably bad?

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

Source: I used to live in Rye (5.9 sq mi), which was next to Mammaroneck (6.7 sq mi), and now live in Tuckahoe (0.5 sq mi) with a wife "commuting" to Bronxville (1.0 sq mi).

JFK Airport is 8.1 sq miles.

[Chris Scheld @ChrisScheld]

That's nothing. There are 48 municipalities in Westchester County alone. Multiple municipalities are smaller than JFK airport!!