©hris™

im a groan assman

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

Me: I'll take the kimchi fries
Waiter: Ooh good choice, that's actually my favorite!
Me: Um this is about me, you stupid bitch

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

@FantasyKash @SuperrNova38 Sorry guys, that was Mularkey, Vrabel got hired the following year

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

@1kalwaysopen_ move on, stupid bitch

[Brendan O'Hare @brendohare]

[in a normal speaking voice from top row of football stadium] Good luck today guys

[dud chumpylips @amfmpm]

come on and slam¹ & welcome to the jam²
¹ do drugs
² prison and hell

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

@BAKKOOONN no joke, this song totally popped into my head after seeing it too

[Frankie Muniz @frankiemuniz]

If I accidentally put a live scorpion in my mouth and chewed on it, am I going to die? Don't ask how that happened....but my tongue is numb.

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

dunno why it took me this long to become a boxer-briefs guy

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

hey man, those ads are targeted based on your browser history https://t.co/uZ5o0cjQK5

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

The Russia hoax continues, now it's ads on Facebook. What about the totally biased and dishonest Media coverage in favor of Crooked Hillary?

[bobby @bobby]

he deleted it and then reposted a half hour later with the same dumbass misspelling. most powerful man on earth.

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

You remain...

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

[to cadet next to me during first day of basic training] tbh i'm just doing this for the discounted movie tickets

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

@HelloCullen Doctor, Doctor
What do you think?
I am the
Prequel to Monsters, Inc.

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

@IGotsSmarts ty

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

update:

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

my boss's phone cord gives me more anxiety than anything else in the world

[nip @juniorshabidoo]

Scenes from an Office