Chairman Meow

Follow me, and your death will be quick and painless.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

@FinnTurner0 @Zoetropeexplosn I can't see your replies on my regular account. I noticed this had 2 comments and switched accounts to see if it was more harassment

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

@Zoetropeexplosn I don't even remember honestly. Probably a early 386 Intel P4 with not much ram and windows 98 se

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

Today I caught a field mouse. It was tasty. Also part of something called a Whopper Jr I found in the trash. My tummy rumbles, nauseated.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

But I lost my way quite quickly. I listened for the ignorant beast's incessant barking but they all sound the same to me.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

A few days later, the human picked me up and took me to the hunting grounds beyond the door. As soon as I dropped, I ran. I was so excited!

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

The humans were there too. They didn't leave us. One day though, I was taken to the white mask man who put something under my skin.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

You see, the human packed me like a common suitcase and took me to a new home. I adjusted slowly to my new lair.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

Hi. Hello. I haven't tweeted in a while, because I am a cat. But now, dreadfully, I seem to have gotten myself lost.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

@SugarCunt Because soup is delicious. Also I need pets.

[SugarCunt posts on ΒlυSky now! (they) 🔞♿ @SugarCunt]

I'm crowdfunding to bring 2 trans bloggers, @taylorjmace/@feistyfoxfilms + @InsertTransHere to @WoodhullSFA #SFS17! https://t.co/pfiOuz9Bnn

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

I advise him from time to time on crucial issues like how to pet me. https://t.co/HBHukiuKCU

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

@SugarCunt Hello mom. I tolerate you. Also you left your computer unattended for a bit in the bathroom so I scheduled some tweets.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

I tolerate you all. Except for you. You know who you are and what you did.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

Guess who's back? Back again? Chairman's back. Tell a friend. #therealfurshady #kittyloaf #CatsOfTwitter

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

I have also noticed the other human @SugarCunt has something shiny on her hand now. They seem happy about it.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

The Human is letting me outside again, but also the Little One. She brings me no pleasure. Thankfully I go far until we come in at night.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

Stalking the jungles of Whittier, looking for worthy prey. Or tiny field mice. Depends on my mood.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

What is up, my bitches? I have been killing and maiming like a mighty huntress, only my human keeps setting them free or hiding the body.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

@SugarCunt It has been pleasant seeing you around the habitat. You know, we could join forces and just take it over from the male humans.

[Chairman Meow @ChrmnMeow]

The human has been on twitter all evening and left something called "TweetDeck" open on his computer. I have added my account. REJOICE.