Fat old queen,think Elton,minus the charm, good looks and money.Used to cross dress but too fat now. Not gender confused just loved it.Practiced pervert he/him
Breathing like a 90-year old with an 80-year, 60 a day habit. I walked 1km yesterday. And had to stop every 10m or so. Hard to believe this fattyboombatty was officiating in rugby a few short years ago!
Two days ago my ex told me he has met someone. I wish him happiness and joy. Today I am also wallowing in self-pity, exacerbated by medical symptoms. Sorry. I have just opened an emergency bottle of Jameson so I will silent. Tomorrow is another day
I have never had faith so I accept my failures are mine alone. I am walking along a path, heading towards a destination I can no longer see. I no longer believe the journey is worth it but Iβll keep on going because there is no other solution. Today has not been a good day
One of my βmildβ symptoms is a constant reflex cough. My throat feels like it is filling with fluid and I try and clear it. It is massively annoying to those around me. It made cinema going a lottery. I could give it all up except for the cinema.
Tidying one room leaves me suffering palpitations and dripping in sweat. So breathless I am dizzy. My cardiac issues have worsened considerably. I am so weary of this. No way out.
Enough of the self indulgence but I feel better for baring myself. βI have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. WB Yeatsβ
I had a crush once. I adored him and craved his attention. I accepted he would reject me if I ever opened up about my feelings. Better to hide them and keep the fantasy alive. So many blissful nights of fantasy domesticity. Beautifully banal and only occasionally erotic.
But even today there is an occasional echo. At my lowest ebb, a fragment will start to play. Tears wiped away by a near forgotten hand. My mind breaking the rules and allowing a moment of comfort despite the logical absurdity.