esoteric knowledge. the mind and its higher faculties. hidden meaning in mainstream culture. power-influence-control. listen closely and outrun everyone else.
STOP WAITING FOR PERMISSION
Walk into the room before you feel ready. Speak before the sentence is perfect. Stay longer than the discomfort wants. Rejection is not a verdict. Its just part of the weather.
"Introverted" people treat ordinary conversation like combat. They scan every face for danger. They leave before anything real can happen.
That is not caution. That is a system that never updated its threat model.
You cannot control what people think. You can only control how seriously you take their temporary opinions.
Show up anyway. Embarrass yourself on purpose. Approach more than feels safe. Become harder to ignore by simply remaining present.
The body learns through repetition, not analysis. Keep going until ordinary contact stops feeling like open combat.
Nothing is that serious.
how to never fall off again
the longer i live, the harder this life gets...
more arab princesses to entertain, searching for more ways to get paid, more stims to rip.
there is a fine line between enjoying this life, doing something that i deeply love...
...and losing that spark.
watched too many mfs get used to a certain life, and forget this endeavour to "be better" lasts forever.
it's a never ending pursuit.
until death you are always pursuing greatness.
even then, you are buried with laurels and an example for your bloodline to follow through.
no other option.
however, sometimes even the people we look up to get bored living a certain way.
even though i practice and preach being delusionally obsessed with the game to the point of breaking. there are days it tears my soul apart.
there i was.
a highly functioning fanatic of the mind. enjoyer of taking pieces of life and putting them together. insanely narcissistic machiavellian with psychopathic tendencies. the big 3.
an optimised crazy alchemist piling on post soviet stimulants and peptides, constantly testing new experiments and updating my stack of 'snacks'
a semi pro boxer and gym enthusiast obliterating his body for fun
student of the human mind, and history of top performers, trying to spot patterns that lead to this legendary work ethic.
compulsive womaniser playing with girls feelings like toys. no problem getting laid if you've maxxed out aesthetics and power dynamics.
feeling nothing.
drained off emotions.
never thought I would experience emptiness again. but here i was. slowly letting the spark die.
and the reason you're reading this is because you're losing it too...
a man who thinks he has finished life, has no desire to keep on living.
beauty's in the progress. that's my motto.
but when you get to a certain level in life, where it feels like you are standing at the top of the mountain, you adapt. nothing feels exciting anymore.
everything you have ever wanted is yours. you are 'better' than an average joe. that urge to keep progressing goes out the window.
hedonic adaptation. things that make you happy in the moment, become a baseline of unhappiness after some time.
the spike of dopamine lottery winners experience, goes back to baseline after a few months of enjoying the money. because it became their new 'normal'
that's why there is times where a pondering session under the sun with a delicious cigar in one hand doesn't hit as much.
the song that has been replayed too much, loses its beauty.
it lacks novelty. and the human brain craves it more than anything.
hence why you get tired of ticking off the same boxes each day, and repeating the same process. everyone does. you ain't alone in this feeling.
same way a girl goes into her hoe phase in her 20s, gets unlimited stds, then marries a regular guy in her 30s... (touchy subject)
she ain't looking at the bigger picture.
everything that you do today, you do to level up your future self.
not the guy you are now. but the guy you will become after a few years of persistent progress.
he is watching you from up ahead, arms crossed, unimpressed by the broken promises.
and me?
i'm a maniacal narcissist about only one thing.
the mission.
i don't get to regress. i no longer feel the need to slack off. there's a heroic arc with my name on it and feeling complacent is my arch nemesis...
it is my moral obligation as a man to savour what i have...
...and stay on this course for the rest of my life.
one day you'll want to give up. its inevitable.
simply remember who you are doing it for.
any obstacle you go up against IS a test.
it wants to know if you have got what i takes.
think twice before going off course.
you may be the chosen one.
that's how you make sure you never fall off again.
the future is now.
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
“one life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. but to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.”
―joan of Arc
raw manifesto on building a god complex.
4:32 AM.
no alarm. my eyes just opened.
there had been a huge storm tonight... I’ve been hearing heavy rain hammering against my rooftop combined with raging thunderbolts while dreaming about empires that don’t exist yet.
I step out on the terrace.
now all that is left is that post-storm calm. rays of the rising sun are breaking through the cloudy sky, forming a scenery straight from the st. john’s apocalypse.
and standing there, watching the heavens split open, a thought comes to me...
even in the bible, god made man in his image. he projected adam to be his perfect copy. all for what?
modern men are therapized and medicated out of ever believing it. pathetic.
I do not flee from my own megalomania. nor should you.
I prefer to feed on it. day by day.
there is no better feeling than waking up and knowing that you are limitless. in every direction. unstoppable.
there was a time in my life when I would wake up at noon with my stomach in knots, feeling sorry that I’m alive.
but those times are long gone. that man does not exist anymore. I buried him deep, alongside all his excuses and humility.
all that is left now is this raw, uncompromisable god complex that bleeds into everything I do...
my inner alter ego whispers straight into my ear whenever I’m attempting to lower my standards in any way. this is beneath you. you know it.
whenever my thoughts suggest to take a day off, rest for a bit, slack off for a while, all I can hear is that voice coming from the depths of my psyche: you’ve promised. and we both remember what.
did I sign a pact with the devil? maybe. but what’s the alternative?
most people run the opposite program. they filter their entire existence through “who am I to want this?”
and the world happily answers: nobody. sit down. don’t cause trouble.
if you don’t assign yourself a certain value, the world surely will. and trust me... it won’t be high.
the main difference between winners and losers is not talent nor intelligence.
it is the altitude of the self-concept. because EVERYTHING else is downstream of it.
“I will seize fate by the throat. it shall certainly never wholly overcome me.”
— beethoven
who am i really?
an egocentric megalomaniac, drunk on his own potential, convinced of his own grandeur and superiority over everyone else?
a self-taught philosopher, deeply curious about everything, disappearing down the rabbit holes at 3am to understand how reality actually works?
a gym demon finding peace in physical pain and the clanking sound of iron at the death of the night?
a master manipulator who understood human nature on a deeper level and immorally uses it to achieve his own ends without losing a second of sleep over it?
a bohemian creator with a romantic spirit, waking up on early mornings to write prose listening to jazz and smoke cigarettes?
what about all of the above…. everything mixed into one person?
damn. i honestly need to get nerfed.
in a world full of sleepwalkers, dragging themselves from one place to another, desperately searching for their place in this world, i feel like a comet cutting through the dark.
i know what i want. and i deliberately constructed an identity fully capable of creating what i am DESTINED to create.
most people spend their entire lifetimes waiting to become someone. never realizing the becoming is a choice they could have made at any moment.
this whole game is not about DOING, but BEING.
you have to get to a point where you’re no longer chasing your dreams. you are your dream. you are everything you would ever want yourself to be. because then.. everything else follows.
JUST STOP CARING
Embarrass yourself. Opinions are irrelevant. They're just side characters. Confidencemaxx. Force yourself to be more social. Approach people daily. Shyness ruins your life. Nothing is that serious. Don't be afraid of rejection. Embrace awkward moments. Radiate charisma.
There's no point in worrying about what others think of you. You cannot control their thought patterns or belief systems.
You can be the most normal person ever, yet someone will always find a reason to talk behind your back, give you a side eye, or make you feel out of place.
But what you CAN control is the perception you have of yourself.
If someone calls you something you're not, why should you care in the first place?
Being social, meeting people, and building strong connections are some of the most valuable investments in life.
You can't afford to treat other people's opinions so seriously and overthink about nothing.
In a time when everybody is glued to their phones, become a person they can't ignore.
Make your presence so memorable that the only reason they reach for their phones is to capture the moments they shared with you.
Whenever you give, make sure to not do it half heartedly.
If you are not giving with your whole being, what's the point in giving altogether?
Don't give because you expect something in return. The karmic exchange doesn't work like that.
Give because your heart needs to be poured out into the world.
Give because it is the only way to break the spell of material attachment.
listening to jazz and writing prose in the morning.
reading ancient philosophy and biographies of great minds of history.
white monster and a good dose of moda, then training until your muscles are swollen.
noise cancelling airpods and descending into your work until 4am.
pretty good way to live this life, can't lie.
When in a rut you need to fuck shit up
Seriously
Press random buttons. Try new combinations
Dress different. Move different. New posture. New speech
Mythologize and pimp out your character like it's Saints Row
Date beaut woman from a far away country and force new thinking into your mind
Drive with more sovereignty
Get a signature drink
Delve deep into a random music genre
Start saying the goofy shit on your mind
Make love to your girl with more desire
Talk to the tan homeless guy you always see on your morning stroll
Interact with the world around you
99% of humans are completely stuck in a script that has a blind eye for all the magic in life
And most likely 100% of us are cucking our highest, most unhinged, sovereign expression of self to nothing but made up rules and routine
Go show your love to life
She will bless you back thousandfold