Andy P.

Amateur puppeteer, inventor of popcorn shrimp.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@kmhans16 That's good. Pretty sure I could recite all the available ones by heart at this point.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@RyanAFournier Joe will be safe. It's widely known he stuffs his money into empty Yuban Coffee cans and buries them in various unmarked, unremembered locations around the white house lawn.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@SloanAlbert Also I found this collection of EC horror comics on Amazon and it's pretty awesome.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@SloanAlbert The human head weighs 8 pounds. If it weighed 80 getting out of bed in the morning would be a real pain in the neck.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@elmax21 @FINALLEVEL A dead body buying a Tesla would be awesome.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@SloanAlbert

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@ThatEricAlper The GOAT.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@KamalaHarris Dat's a damn good ting. Cuz

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@t_fritzy13 Probably should've chose option B.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@ZamirGotta Terribly sorry. May he travel well.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@MichaelSkolnik @POTUS When he speaks from his heart or misreads the teleprompter? You can hardly blame the poor old guy for being baffled. Having to preside over this racial jungle and all.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@POTUS "Yea, can I get a large thin crust with pepperoni with extra cheese?"

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@TheNotoriousMMA You have a watch!? Why didn't you say so before. That's awesome dude.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@SpeakerPelosi @POTUS Hey, sorry to interrupt your crusade to preserve our democracy but I just downloaded Robinhood app. Lemme get a line on a few sleepers, babe.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@POTUS Hypocrisy has to have a Pinnochio effect on your shriveled old crank. It's the only plausible explanation.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@joncoopertweets That's like saying we just watched Yoko Ono sing the most beautiful damn song she's ever sang.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@POTUS As a devout supporter of neither major party I'm genuinely curious (because god knows only a fraction of the hypocrisy and misdeeds make the airwaves) how low do you have to stoop in this country to become president?

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@POTUS You can't even sneeze without sounding hypocritical you senile derelict piece of garbage.

[Andy P. @CJeromeDad]

@POTUS Absolutely. You can have done anything especially if you just make it up off the top of your head. Also, I'm an ice road trucker who once beat stage 18 cancer while fighting off a group of Canadian terrorists attempting to steal the Declaration of Independence. Kick rocks.