CJ Hernandez

Human being from Tampa FL.

Creator of @Headlinertron, Writer for @HardDriveMag, Founder of Open Mic Magazine, Father of two cats

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

"No True Scotsman," they say, implying the existence of Lawful Scotsmen and Chaotic Scotsmen.

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

@StephanReilly @thejdlowe @HardDriveMag sorry

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

Wrote this one about a true hero of the digital age.

Godspeed, Guy Who Summarizes Pay-Walled Articles in the Comments. We salute you.

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

Guy Who Summarizes Pay-Walled Articles in the Comments Nominated for Pulitzer Prize

https://t.co/K9rIrlIOAt

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

Guy Who Summarizes Pay-Walled Articles in the Comments Nominated for Pulitzer Prize

https://t.co/K9rIrlIOAt

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

hello @thegameawards please let us write your sketches next year

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

REPORT: Democrats threaten to ask nicely if Amy Barrett would kindly recuse herself from any election-related cases but only if she feels like it, no pressure.

Nancy Pelosi is reportedly willing to go as far as a "pretty please," a truly unprecedented show of political force.

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

new law: all products must taste as good as they smell

if im washing my hair with some fancyass mango pineapple conditioner i should be able to have a little bit as a snack

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

The golden age of human productivity must have been right after they invented the alarm clock but before they invented the snooze button.

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

@MrGreenGenez A sexy CPAP.

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

hello sharks today I am asking for $200,000 for a 20% stake in my new concept "the sleep snorkel," a snorkel you can wear in bed so you can cover your head in the blanket but still breathe the nice cold outside-of-the-blanket air

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

I can't take a joke, that would be plagiarism.

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

Gamers Donate Hundreds of Unused Healing Items to Ruth Bader Ginsburg

https://t.co/c4oGz5XXXF

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

I knew I was saving them for a reason!

(article by me)

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

Gamers Donate Hundreds of Unused Healing Items to Ruth Bader Ginsburg

https://t.co/c4oGz5XXXF

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

Opinion: Bernie Should Have Stayed in the Primary in Case He Won Every Bonus Star

https://t.co/ltndek97Zk

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

Wrote this opinion piece today :(

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

Opinion: Bernie Should Have Stayed in the Primary in Case He Won Every Bonus Star

https://t.co/ltndek97Zk

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

@PeterClarkJokes The CDC has advised that you should avoid putting money in your mouth.

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

@abelinasabrina Disney too 🙄

Please sink us into the ocean, we've earned it.

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

It's great that people are finally washing their hands.

Now, if we could just convince everyone that the coronavirus can live in your ass-crack...

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

@RogueDarkJedi @HardDriveMag nahhh that's all @jeremysmiles on the Photoshop

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

@SnowLeopardShrk @SleepyBasilisk @HardDriveMag We just did, it's updated now :)

[CJ Hernandez @CJHernandez]

@dcleyre192 @M0ntyBLK @SleepyBasilisk @HardDriveMag We just did, it's updated now :)