CJ 🎧🤠

Head writer at my Twitter account. I like pizza, comedy, jorts, country music, & windmill high fives. RIP EJ #DetroitPistonsFan🏀

[Yeah Yeah! @YeahYeahOkBro]

I DO NOT NEED TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION TO PAY MY ELECTRICITY BILL. LET ANYONE IN THAT MOTHERFUCKER IF THEY WANT TO PAY IT

[CJ 🎧🤠 @CJradioDJ]

@purpose_pitch @syntax2600 I got my first shingles shot & felt fine. Second coming in November. I know multiple people who've had shingles & none were easy. It's preventable so I'm gonna go with that option.

[CJ 🎧🤠 @CJradioDJ]

This crazy thing called AM radio

[LadyValor @lady_valor_07]

In the 70s before text alerts and social media, how did your family find out that school was closed 🏫

[MAJOR @Squeeze1i]

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO WANT A LIFE THAT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE A CONSTANT TEST OF HOW MUCH YOU CAN FUCKING HANDLE.

[CJ 🎧🤠 @CJradioDJ]

@girthymac Agreed

[CJ 🎧🤠 @CJradioDJ]

@girthymac This didn't age well

[shrimps💪🍤 @shrimpchipsss]

death by a thousand $20 purchases

[Ro ♟️ @geezy2x2]

MIND YALL he walks away with 1.7 million from GoFundMe, life insurance on all 3 kids, $ from the sale of the house, his 400k/yr job, a new wife, new kids, and none of you think this is suspicious??? He should've been the MAIN SUSPECT

[H O N E Y @HoneyTooRaw]

adult friendship is basically “i love you, i’m alive, life beating my ass, talk soon.” 😭

[Daisy @DaizyZeeX]

If my 3 children were m*rdered, and the alleged k*ller was on trial. I would damn sure be in that courtroom. NOT laughing and joking with my current pregnant wife while walking through NYC.

You cannot convince me that Patrick Clancy cares about losing those children.

[CJ 🎧🤠 @CJradioDJ]

@bayareawriter It's rude AF & anyone justifying it deserves diarrhea forever.

[CJ 🎧🤠 @CJradioDJ]

@muheediva01 "come in for a tour & we'll discuss options"

[G. F. Allen @AuthorGFAllen]

You don’t actually have to be good at your hobbies. You’re allowed to just enjoy them and suck at them.

[feyisayo 💸 @feyiszn]

And respectfully… why did nobody in my bloodline lock in and secure the generational wealth before i got here?

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Normalize cutting politicians off mid-word-salad and saying, “Answer the fucking question.”

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

One of my favorite things about cats is that when they don’t understand what something is, they hit it.

[Big Timi @OrevaZSN]

Just checking in to make sure you understand why working from home hurts collaboration, but outsourcing your entire department overseas, with time-zone gaps of 8–12 hours, apparently doesn’t.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

How do I pull a Mitch McConnell? I don’t want to show up to work anymore, but I’d still like the paycheck and health insurance.

[Amelia @amelia_tweetz]

Funny how landlords need proof that you can afford the rent when you move in, but once you’re there, they can raise the rent every year without caring whether your paycheck went up. 🤔