Amani Darena

Author of The Abstinence Advantage | Helping women 30+ date with clarity using attachment science & boundaries. Why you knew—but stayed anyway quiz ↓

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

Smart, self-aware women keep ending up in situationships — and it’s not because something is wrong with you.

It’s because chemistry arrives before real information.
Your brain bonds faster than it can think clearly. Intensity feels like compatibility.

Red flags get explained away… until you’re already attached.

Here’s exactly why that backfires — and how strategic abstinence creates the clarity you deserve (no purity culture, just real attachment science).

Swipe through ➡️

The Abstinence Advantage is for women 30+ who are done repeating the same patterns.

Let me know if this hits home.

What’s one dating pattern you’re ready to break?

Reply below.

@ClarityInDating

#IntentionalDating

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

When the right person arrives, they're going to meet a woman who knows exactly who she is.

That's the advantage.

Build it. 💛

#selfrespect #intentionaldating #modernwomen #theabstinenceadvantage #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE and I'll send you a free chapter of my book on dating clarity

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

The quiet, unglamorous work you're doing on yourself?

It's doing more than you know.

Keep going. 💛

#selfcare #innerwork #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE if you needed this today.

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

You're not waiting.

You're preparing.

There's a difference — and it changes everything about how you carry this season. 💛

#intentionaldating #selfrespect #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE and I'll send you a free chapter from my book on dating clarity

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

The right person will recognize the full version of you.

You don't have to pre-edit for them. 💛

#selflove #datingadvice #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE and I'll send you a free chapter from my book on dating clarity

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

Making yourself smaller in advance — for someone who doesn't even exist yet — is still making yourself smaller.

Stop rehearsing smallness. 💛

#selfrespect #selfawareness #datingadvice #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE if this hit.

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

When you start editing yourself before you've even met anyone —

That's not preparation. That's auditioning.

You deserve to show up as the full version. 💛

#selfrespect #datingadvice #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE and I'll send you a free chapter from my book on dating clarity

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

Rootedness is the real protection.

Not rules. Not walls. Knowing who you are so clearly that anything misaligned can't settle in.

#selfrespect #selflove #datingadvice #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE and I'll send you a free chapter from my book on dating clarity 💛

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

The common denominator in your patterns is you.

That's not blame. That's power.

Because you can change you. 💛

#selfawareness #datingadvice #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE if this landed.

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

The goal isn't a longer checklist.

It's becoming so rooted in who you are that the wrong person can't get comfortable.

That's different work. Better work. 💛

#datingadvice #selfawareness #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE and I'll send you a free chapter from my book on dating clarity

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

Rushing back into dating before you're ready isn't brave.

Waiting until you are? That's the move. 💛

#intentionaldating #selfcare #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE and I'll send you a free chapter from my book on dating clarity

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

Nobody who isn't living your life gets to set your timeline for it.

Full stop. 💛

#selfrespect #boundaries #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE if you needed that reminder.

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

The timeline pressure you feel about dating and relationships?

Most of it isn't real. It's manufactured.

Your readiness matters more than anyone else's schedule for you. 💛

#datingadvice #selfrespect #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE and I'll send you a free chapter of my book on dating clarity

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

Loneliness during a season of intentionality doesn't mean you made the wrong choice.

It means you're human. Keep going. 💛

#selfrespect #intentionaldating #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE below.

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

You're not being too selective.

You're being precise. There's a difference.

#datingadvice #standards #selfrespect #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE if you needed to hear this. 💛

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

The in-between season — not dating, not where you want to be yet — is doing more than it feels like it's doing.

Trust that. 💛

#intentionaldating #selfrespect #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

Choosing yourself isn't the same as giving up on love.

It's the prerequisite for it.

#selfcare #selflove #modernwomen #datingadvice #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE below. 💛

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

The version of you that's been through it has something the version of you that hasn't doesn't:

Evidence.

Use it.

#selfawareness #datingadvice #modernwomen #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE if this landed. 💛

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

Your standards don't matter if you negotiate them the moment someone interesting shows up.

That's not a judgment. That's just the thing nobody wants to say out loud.

#datingadvice #standards #selfrespect #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE 💛

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

A lot of us are out here dating on a deficit and wondering why we keep ending up depleted.

You can't pour from empty. That applies to relationships too.

#datingadvice #selfcare #modernwomen #womenempowerment #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE below. 💛

[Amani Darena @ClarityInDating]

The question isn't whether you SHOULD date.

It's whether you're dating from a full place or an empty one.

That distinction changes everything.

#datingadvice #selfawareness #modernwomen #womenempowerment #amanidarena

Comment ADVANTAGE if you want to go deeper. 💛