Jack Maclennan

Sound that is

[Shutts @Shuttsapalooza]

I call this series - Vince McMahon trying to buy booze in a Scottish corner-shop after 10pm. Enjoy x

[roflhoff @madmunk]

Pretend you're Les Dennis by putting your arm around a stranger at the train station while looking up at the departure board.

[City Xtra @City_Xtra]

Former #ManCity staff member on the 2018 Premier League title win: “Even though Pep wanted all these records we’d still go out. He’d be like ‘Right, Sunday, we’ve got a game but Monday, Tuesday we’ll go out’. It was every week. By the time we got to the actual parade my missus was like: ‘You can’t go out again, it’s getting beyond a joke! You’re out all the time.’ I’m like: ‘But Pep’s asking me to’.

"Anyway, we’re in the canteen having a few beers before we got on the parade bus and Pep says ‘Are you out tonight?’ I say: ‘I can’t. I think I’ll be left homeless if I go.’ So Pep goes: ‘Well, stay at my apartment if you want.’

'I can’t Pep, it’s my missus.’

‘You want me to ring her? Come on, ring your missus.’

"Everyone was around us. My missus answered. ‘Hello, this is Pep.’ She says: ‘Who?’ ‘It’s Pep Guardiola.’ She’s gone: ‘All right, yeah, go on?’ ‘Listen, I know we’ve been out a lot recently but we’ve just won the Premier League. I’ll have him home by 2AM.’ My missus just replies, ‘One’ and hits the red button. Everyone’s there howling..."

The real Pep Guardiola: Untold stories from a decade with City’s Pied Piper. Read @TelegraphDucker's full report on @TeleFootball. ⤵️

https://t.co/8RFRGvPHTD

[Simpsons SPFL 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @SimpsonsSPFL]

McInnes: "Honey, you should've seen us against Celtic today, I-...no, but we came so close!"

[Jack Maclennan @Clenst]

@RangersFC I've volunteered to go to Dunelm with the wife instead, thanks alot Danny

[Hughes-on-the-Wold @NotThatHughes]

Classy touch really, because he could've just gone in there and made it all about him.

[Dunder Mifflin @DunderMifflinAS]

Spot on!

[Saskia @Saskiaaa_____]

I cant stop laughing 🤣 because I can totally relate!
M&S is elite 💎

[John mcdonagh @johnmcdonagh95]

Coventry fans tonight when the police try and kick them out the Blackburn home end

[hacky sack @h4ckys4ck]

Warwick Davis has eaten his malteser already

[Jack Maclennan @Clenst]

That 3rd from Valverde made me vomit 👌🏻

[Rangers Football Club @RangersFC]

🚲 Outrageous.

[Not Jerome Powell @alifarhat79]

Netflix producers realizing Mencho’s killing just unlocked 3 new seasons

[#BucksWriter 🦌 @BucksWriter]

Ed Still used to work in my local barber's, they were always calling his name.

[Jack Maclennan @Clenst]

Maurice Ross class on Comms tonight 👍🏻

[Jack Maclennan @Clenst]

Not Glenny!

[Football Tweet ⚽ @Footballtweet]

🚨 𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗘: Ethan Nwaneri was not shown a red card for this heavy tackle on Glen Kamara. 🤯

[Jack Maclennan @Clenst]

@SportsPeteO @Empire1872 I'll pop the USA meme away