Chris Fannon

My tweets have nothing to do with my line of work.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@DollaSlice @BudrykZack Nothing says early '00s like a song left off an album because of 9/11

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

Kid at the playground told me that my neck looks like a snake.

Rude. Clearly it looks like a cartoon vulture.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

Listening to Tom Waits at work is legally indistinguishable from drinking on the job

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@nadiaoxford This was the lifestyle Biggie was referencing in Juicy

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@alisonwillmore Curdled and folded hollandaise?

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@twipony @bobservo Its villain's arch is all about how this lunatic rises in power within a fascist state not in spite of, but directly because of his cruelty and unpredictability. Nothing political there.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@HmJileswrites Bong Joon-ho

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@_brian_s @sepinwall Peak tv

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

Real Stewie Griffin energy from baby Jesus in this one

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

You can't fool me, Walters Art Museum. This is totally a Tetsuyo Nomura design.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

Living in Oregon was great, but it is nice now being in a place with more than one culture. Reminded of this today as my supervisor wished me "L'shanah Tovah." Once in Oregon, a coworker thought kosher for Passover meant "unsalted."

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

Toddler asks for PB&J. I make him one. He's screaming & sobbing because I did it wrong. He wanted 2 different kinds of bread. The depravity you see below finally appeased him. Those are blueberry bagels in the bottom.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

We move from breaking news to quips so quickly that I tend to hear about events from the quips first. Yesterday I learned the queen died because someone put up the poster to 1991's KING RALPH, starring John Goodman.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

It'd be great if ONE character talked like a human being

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

Yo this book suuucks

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@JudiciaryGOP Criminals, people who aid and abet criminals... Everyone!

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

The House Judiciary GOP tweet is in the running for the funniest thing anyone's ever written on this site. Instant Hall of Fame stuff.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@jbouie Both great but for different reasons. Scorsese adds a snappy brutality to everything, like the elevator scene happening w/out warning.

But IA has the better ending. I almost always prefer forcing characters to live w/ their decisions over closing all the loops w/ death.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@will_thad @MoiraDonegan I'm kind of baffled how many of these answers are wildly overthinking this. Opponents of abortion consider it murder. Opponents of marriage equality just kind of vaguely grossed out. It's much easier for the latter to concede that at least it doesn't hurt anybody.

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@VinceMancini It's true! https://t.co/4q5sbF4z24

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

The 2 types of Ocean City t-shirts are "Pro God, Pro Gun, and Pro Trump" and "I ❤ Hot Dads"

[Chris Fannon @CNFannon]

@MNateShyamalan This gets only more unhinged in minor leagues. Saw a baseball game where 3 innings in they reminded everyone that the player who hits the wall adjacent to the rotting pig carcass in the woods behind the field wins a prize.