CNN Wire

Short News updates for @X users! Part of the @CNN family, the most trusted name in news!

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NEW: NC Congressman Madison Cawthorn comes out in support of Pete Buttigieg’s high speed railing system

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@DschlopesIsBack We approve of this message!

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🚨BREAKING: War Secretary Pete Hegseth warns Iran that the “secret” weapons the US Armed Forces possesses has the ability to turn the country into an “EPIC ANIME FIGHT SCENE”, if they refuse any ceasefire demands

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🚨JUST IN: Israeli PM’s Office CONFIRMS recent appearances of Netanyahu are AI; however, were only used due to fears for the Prime Minster’s life, location “must be kept confidential”

Netanyahu is still alive, according to the recent statement

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🚨JUST IN: Iran's IRGC Spokesperson has announced the Strait of Hormuz is FULLY open and has never closed.

“Our goal was to wreak havoc on Western oil markets with just pure bluster…you haven’t seen the meaning of CLOSED yet”

“April Fools, Trump, and you’re fired!”

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BREAKING: Florida Man and Industrial Metal Fan Arrested for Attempt to Kidnap Madonna for Drug Money

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BREAKING: A man has been arrested and forced to register as a sex offender after having sex with a couch displayed at a Living Spaces while wearing a JD Vance mask in Arizona.

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BREAKING: Disgraced former Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro found dead in a NYC prison cell after freak accident involving P. Diddy's baby oil, Jeffrey Epstein's Auto Erotic Asphyixation fetish, and El Chapo's Cocaine.

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Secretary of War Pete Hegseth is forced to reverse ban on homosexuals in the Navy after entire Navy is discharged from service.

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"He's a hero because he got shot, I like people who weren't shot" - Gavin Newsom on the death of Charlie Kirk

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🚨BREAKING: The suspect of the Charlie Kirk Assassination has been identified

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BREAKING: California Governor Gavin Newsom Approval rating surges to 99.95% after shooting a Homeless Person in the Middle of 5th Avenue during trip to New York City.

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🚨BREAKING: John Bolton DEAD at 76 after suffering a heart attack

According to the Bolton family, he was shouting and jumping for joy looking at Truth Social on his phone before collapsing

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The Conclave have elected Joesph 1 as the new Pope

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🚨BREAKING: TRUMP ATTACKS ISRAEL AFTER MEETING WITH NETANYAHU

“Israel has hypnotized the world…

…may Allah awaken the people to the evil doings of Israel and the United States”

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@GodfreyGGolden Agreed!

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Breaking: Trump yells “Blood for the Blood God, Skulls for the Skull Thrown” wall discussing an invasion of Canada, Greenland, Panama and Mexico.

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BREAKING: President-Elect Donald Trump has selected ASAC Hank Schrader as Head of the DEA

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BREAKING: Israeli Mossad reveals “Skibidi Toilet” to be Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad

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BREAKING: The Democratic National Committee has Elected Kari Lake as chair for her role in Helping Democratics win key swing state races