🚨BREAKING: War Secretary Pete Hegseth warns Iran that the “secret” weapons the US Armed Forces possesses has the ability to turn the country into an “EPIC ANIME FIGHT SCENE”, if they refuse any ceasefire demands
🚨JUST IN: Israeli PM’s Office CONFIRMS recent appearances of Netanyahu are AI; however, were only used due to fears for the Prime Minster’s life, location “must be kept confidential”
Netanyahu is still alive, according to the recent statement
🚨JUST IN: Iran's IRGC Spokesperson has announced the Strait of Hormuz is FULLY open and has never closed.
“Our goal was to wreak havoc on Western oil markets with just pure bluster…you haven’t seen the meaning of CLOSED yet”
“April Fools, Trump, and you’re fired!”
BREAKING: A man has been arrested and forced to register as a sex offender after having sex with a couch displayed at a Living Spaces while wearing a JD Vance mask in Arizona.
BREAKING: Disgraced former Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro found dead in a NYC prison cell after freak accident involving P. Diddy's baby oil, Jeffrey Epstein's Auto Erotic Asphyixation fetish, and El Chapo's Cocaine.
BREAKING: California Governor Gavin Newsom Approval rating surges to 99.95% after shooting a Homeless Person in the Middle of 5th Avenue during trip to New York City.
🚨BREAKING: John Bolton DEAD at 76 after suffering a heart attack
According to the Bolton family, he was shouting and jumping for joy looking at Truth Social on his phone before collapsing
🚨BREAKING: TRUMP ATTACKS ISRAEL AFTER MEETING WITH NETANYAHU
“Israel has hypnotized the world…
…may Allah awaken the people to the evil doings of Israel and the United States”