Joey Carson

I tend to enjoy sarcasm, soccer, and procrastination, in that order.

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Tonight sucked for sports but my dog was cute

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

First time getting Costco snacks #TreatYOSELF

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Sometimes you play board games for fun, and that’s fine….but if you don’t want to win, please just play some sh*t like go fish idk

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

These M F’ers all about X right now. Who even are they? Let me tell you @Caleb_Williford

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

I understand that evolution happened, but I can’t help but think that it didn’t happen for everyone who can’t handle a roundabout. #Idiots

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

When your Friday gives you Monday #vibes with your Twitter getting hacked. I guess I’m back on Twitter now. #TweetTweet

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Phoenix telling me it’s ok that it’s not warm because it still has sunshine. That’s not why I’m here. #WherestheHeat

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Has anyone ever been like, “wow, it’s only 10 pm and my wife is already grumpy for tomorrow.”?

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Tommy coming after Patrick’s job. #ILoveIt

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

I’m proud of #Texas for keeping it close to the #Hawks last night…I fear they won’t have as many close games in the #SEC

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Personally, I think dentists take a #patientroast class in school.

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Alright #Chiefs. I’m gonna throw out an idea. It’s gonna sound crazy….but let’s not let people run free behind the defense. #JustAThought

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Hey #Texas, #Arkansas is a good football squad so don’t put your heads down….also don’t pick your heads up to see that #Bama and #Georgia are also waiting for their easy dubs to stroll in

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Today, we don’t have any subs for my #over30 league game today. I’ll just be digging my own grave for a warmup #dead

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Berhalter….please..for the love of God make adjustments. You’ve shown time and time again that you don’t…but please…just this once make a change. Or give another coach a chance #OUTCOACHED

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

“People just need to be big boys and girls and wear their big panties. I’m tired of stupid people and stupid opinions!” - my mom ladies and gentlemen #GetVaxxed

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

Dentist: how are you doing today. Any concerns about your teeth?

Me: go ahead. Just #roast me already.

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

My favorite thing about the dentist is the questions they ask. Do you do this every night. Are you brushing for the minimum amount of time. What’s your mouth care routine. You’re shining a light on all my teeth…I know that you know the answer to every one of those questions

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

If I introduce myself as Joe...they say it’s Jeff. If I say I’m Joey, it goes down as Jerry. Am I just that bad at pronouncing my own name? #idontunderstand

[Joey Carson @Coach_C_13]

My parents brought me to a wedding tonight....i left as the designated driver. #Confused