“He has childhood trauma.” So do I.
“He’s under a lot of pressure at work.” So am I.
“He’s just overwhelmed.” Me too.
The only difference is that we excuse men’s behavior, and shame women for not carrying it.
It's selfish to enter someone's life, see that they're a loving, cheerful, and good person, and decide to ruin their present because you haven't dealt with your own issues. Leave people alone if you have no intention of showing up with sincerity
I'M GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND WHEN SAY THIS BUT: a man has to be more certain about you than you are about him, otherwise you'll spend the whole relationship chasing balance that was never there.
Losing a man who never planned dates, didn't buy you flowers, gave your nervous system a run for its money, and gave you the bare minimum.... isn't a loss.
I don’t think people understand that you can LITERALLY push someone so far that they reach a point of complete detachment. Whether it’s a friendship, relationship, or even family.. they simply stop wanting you in their life on any level.
If you weren’t passing around The Coldest Winter Ever and Flyy Girl and Zane books like drug deals in middle school then you missed out on some great Black girlhood 😂 and the dolls all read FAST 💅🏾
My therapist once told me: “Get good at bouncing back. A rough conversation, a bad day, a skipped workout, a choice you regret, none of it has to ruin the rest of your week. You can reset whenever you decide to. You can't change what happened, but you can choose how long you hold onto it”.
nobody talks about how exhausting it is to live in that space between “things will get better” and “i can’t handle this anymore.” it’s like your emotions are constantly swinging. leaving you both hopeful and defeated in the same day
Tolerating always turns to resentment. At first, you call it patience, then love. But what it really is, is self-abandonment. Every time you swallow a boundary, excuse a pattern, or silence your discomfort, something inside you keeps score. And eventually, the bill comes due.