Coded Jason Show @codedjasonshow - Twitter Profile

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about 13 hours ago

JUST OUT: 🗳️ THE POLLS ARE OPEN. MY PATIENCE IS CLOSED. Apparently, we’re supposed to be excited about voting again. Pollsters are polling. Pundits are pondering. Politicians are promising to fix the problems that politicians promised to fix during the previous election. And everybody wants MY opinion. Well, pull up a chair, kid. 🪑 Yesterday I conducted a highly sophisticated political experiment on X. I posted a poll. Three choices. Seventy-one views. One vote. ONE. Uno. A single brave digital patriot stepped forward and declared that sometimes sh¡t gets weird. The final results? Sometimes sh¡t gets weird: 100%. Amazing: 0%. Brilliant: 0%. My sample size was approximately one human being, possibly operating a phone while sitting on the toilet. And honestly? That may be the most accurate poll I’ve seen all year. Because the longer I watch American politics, the more convinced I become that we’re trapped inside one giant malfunctioning survey conducted by people who already decided what the answers are supposed to be. For the record, I’m a true liberal anarchistic conservative. Yes. All three. No, I won’t be explaining the seating arrangements. I believe in individual liberty, limited government, personal responsibility, and the constitutional right to tell every political party to go pound sand. My last vote was in South Carolina in 2020. Straight Democratic ticket. That was before the pandemic, which apparently lasted approximately 47 years in GenX psychological time. Now I’m in Texas. And I’ve decided I’m never voting here again. Not because I don’t care. Because I care enough to be thoroughly disgusted. I’ve watched enough political theater to conclude that approximately 69% of the politicians currently running this country are professionally qualified to operate a broken vending machine. The other 31% are still looking for the coin slot. And before somebody starts quoting Trump about voting irregularities, let’s clarify something. Claims of widespread election fraud aren’t evidence that widespread election fraud occurred. Actual irregularities deserve actual investigations. But here’s an irregularity I CAN personally observe: We keep sending the same kinds of people back to Washington and expecting different results. New campaign logos. New slogans. Same stale garbage rattling around inside the machinery. Meanwhile, the politicians keep promising to fix the problems that politicians created while the rest of us are expected to select which political party gets to operate the vending machine. And pay for the repairs. Again. And before somebody starts screaming that not voting is surrendering my voice, relax. This IS my voice. You vote. You don’t vote. That’s your decision. I’m just declining another invitation to the world’s most expensive popularity contest. Not telling anybody else how to participate in democracy. I’m explaining why this particular GenX Ancient has decided to observe the festivities from the cheap seats. With popcorn. And a banjo. Because apparently those are the only two things in America that haven’t required a congressional appropriation. Yet. Anyhoo. POLL QUESTION: If voting actually fixed everything, would politicians still need to campaign? Asking for a banjo player. 🪕😎 P.S. My last poll received exactly one vote. So if this post changes your political philosophy, please contact my Department of Statistical Nonsense for verification. Sometimes sh¡t gets weird. 100%. #CodedJasonShow

CodedJasonShow's tweet photo. JUST OUT: 🗳️ THE POLLS ARE OPEN. MY PATIENCE IS CLOSED.

Apparently, we’re supposed to be excited about voting again.

Pollsters are polling. Pundits are pondering. Politicians are promising to fix the problems that politicians promised to fix during the previous election.

And everybody wants MY opinion.

Well, pull up a chair, kid. 🪑

Yesterday I conducted a highly sophisticated political experiment on X.

I posted a poll.

Three choices. Seventy-one views. One vote.

ONE.

Uno.

A single brave digital patriot stepped forward and declared that sometimes sh¡t gets weird.

The final results?

Sometimes sh¡t gets weird: 100%.
Amazing: 0%.
Brilliant: 0%.

My sample size was approximately one human being, possibly operating a phone while sitting on the toilet.

And honestly?

That may be the most accurate poll I’ve seen all year.

Because the longer I watch American politics, the more convinced I become that we’re trapped inside one giant malfunctioning survey conducted by people who already decided what the answers are supposed to be.

For the record, I’m a true liberal anarchistic conservative.

Yes. All three.

No, I won’t be explaining the seating arrangements.

I believe in individual liberty, limited government, personal responsibility, and the constitutional right to tell every political party to go pound sand.

My last vote was in South Carolina in 2020. Straight Democratic ticket.

That was before the pandemic, which apparently lasted approximately 47 years in GenX psychological time.

Now I’m in Texas.

And I’ve decided I’m never voting here again.

Not because I don’t care.

Because I care enough to be thoroughly disgusted.

I’ve watched enough political theater to conclude that approximately 69% of the politicians currently running this country are professionally qualified to operate a broken vending machine.

The other 31% are still looking for the coin slot.

And before somebody starts quoting Trump about voting irregularities, let’s clarify something.

Claims of widespread election fraud aren’t evidence that widespread election fraud occurred.

Actual irregularities deserve actual investigations.

But here’s an irregularity I CAN personally observe:

We keep sending the same kinds of people back to Washington and expecting different results.

New campaign logos. New slogans. Same stale garbage rattling around inside the machinery.

Meanwhile, the politicians keep promising to fix the problems that politicians created while the rest of us are expected to select which political party gets to operate the vending machine.

And pay for the repairs.

Again.

And before somebody starts screaming that not voting is surrendering my voice, relax.

This IS my voice.

You vote. You don’t vote. That’s your decision.

I’m just declining another invitation to the world’s most expensive popularity contest.

Not telling anybody else how to participate in democracy.

I’m explaining why this particular GenX Ancient has decided to observe the festivities from the cheap seats.

With popcorn.

And a banjo.

Because apparently those are the only two things in America that haven’t required a congressional appropriation.

Yet.

Anyhoo.

POLL QUESTION:

If voting actually fixed everything, would politicians still need to campaign?

Asking for a banjo player. 🪕😎

P.S. My last poll received exactly one vote. So if this post changes your political philosophy, please contact my Department of Statistical Nonsense for verification.

Sometimes sh¡t gets weird.

100%.

#CodedJasonShow

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Coded Jason Show

@CodedJasonShow

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