Codie Smith☾

Retired Girls Gone Wild Bus Driver.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

Awesome movie plot- Guy flying a food shipment crashes and is stranded in siberia. The only thing salvageable from the wreck is a pack of frozen hot dogs. Russian military see the crash and hunt him which he is faced with having to kill them one by one with a frozen hot dog.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

2 weeks of cold showers has finally mustered up enough motivation to battle my satan worshipping hot water tank from hell and replace its heating elements. #LegendarybattlesInHistory #WillBeRememberedForever #SatanicHomeAppliances

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

It’s fucking cold. My soul is on fire for the ass cheek sweating heat and humidity of summer #MoistCracks #PleaseComeBack #WinterHell

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

If you need a legitimate scientific explanation for why subzero can freeze off someone’s dick and stab them with it then you are just a difficult asshat of a human being and need to go live alone in the wilderness.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

The new mortal kombat was awesome. All the reviews said it was a shit movie but hell no they are all fucking buffoons.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

@McDonalds Your menu is as boring as cable television. Bring back all day breakfast!

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

@cassiusatbestwv Hey man not to be a pain in the ass but are the shirts still in the works or did they get cancelled?

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

If you dont have at least 12 10mm sockets in your box then what the fuck are you even doing

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

That feeling you get after pulling out the grenade pin on the adjuster when you put on a new timing belt. #SensualMechanicMoments

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

filthy frank and pink guy will always over shadow how I see joji

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

every now and then I listen to joji non stop for a few hours.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

They should make a movie about a guy who is in the Olympics for sprinting but he gets disqualified for spraying pam between his ass cheeks so he could run faster. The movie could be called "In Between winning and losing" - The story of the fastest ass cheeks in the nation.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

@cassiusatbestwv I just wish garth brooks would transform into his true form of satan and take them all to beer gut man tit hell.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

@cassiusatbestwv @cassiusatbestwv any updates on when the shirts are gonna ship out?

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

@cassiusatbestwv Just snagged one of those sweet ass shirts bro guy 5000. Looking forwards to wearing the hell out of it

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

@rachelloy98 Happens all the time in the shop I work at. Then they will call a day or so later and want to reschedule. Total ass hats

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

@cassiusatbestwv We either need a meteor to hit or aliens to land. one or the other maybe both. probably both.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

I know who is getting my vote this year. #MelGibson2020 #TakeNoShit

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

If I ever get married and turn into an old man I just hope my wife has a huge enough ass that I can actually rest my drink on it while were fishing In my incredibly expensive boat that only an old man could afford.

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

Could watch every episode of fresh prince back to back forever and not get tired of it. #WorkThoughts

[Codie Smith☾ @CodieSmith77]

I just wish I had a rich uncle phil who lived in bellaire that wants me to come live with him.