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Nobody stands at an altar thinking one day they will wonder whether their marriage has become a permanent friendship.
Nobody expects to spend years sleeping beside the person they love while feeling completely alone.
Yet many men find themselves there.
They stop initiating because rejection hurts.
They stop talking because every conversation turns into an argument.
They stop hoping because hope starts feeling foolish.
Then one day they ask themselves a question that feels almost impossible to say out loud:
“How much longer can I live like this?”
The answer is rarely about sex alone.
That is what makes this topic so difficult.
A sexless marriage is often a symptom of something larger.
Loss of connection.
Loss of affection.
Loss of emotional intimacy.
Loss of partnership.
And sometimes, loss of love.
The real question is not whether you are having sex.
The real question is whether there is still a marriage left to save.
The Conversation Men Are Afraid to Have
Many men feel guilty for caring about sex.
Society often sends a confusing message.
If a husband complains about a lack of intimacy, he risks being viewed as shallow.
As if physical connection is some optional luxury.
As if wanting to feel desired by your spouse is unreasonable.
But intimacy matters.
Research published in the National Library of Medicine has consistently linked marital satisfaction with emotional and physical intimacy.
Most men are not asking for perfection.
They are asking to feel wanted.
To feel chosen.
To feel close to the person they married.
There is a difference.
A huge difference.
I once spoke with a man who said:
“I could survive without sex. What I couldn’t survive was feeling invisible.”
That sentence stayed with me.
Because it captured the real pain.
The absence of sex was hurting him.
The absence of connection was destroying him.
A Sexless Marriage Is Not Automatically a Failed Marriage
This is important.
Many marriages go through dry periods.
Life happens.
Children arrive.
Parents get sick.
Stress multiplies.
Hormones change.
Mental health struggles appear.
Sometimes couples go months without intimacy and find their way back to each other.
A temporary drought does not mean the relationship is over.
The bigger concern is what happens after the drought.
Do both people acknowledge the problem?
Do both people care about fixing it?
Do both people still value the relationship?
Those questions matter more than any number.
A marriage can survive a difficult season.
It struggles to survive indifference.
The Moment I Realized Sex Wasn’t the Actual Problem
Years ago, a friend described his marriage to me over coffee.
He spent twenty minutes talking about sex.
Or rather, the lack of it.
Then he paused.
He stared into his cup.
And he said something unexpected.
“We don’t laugh anymore.”
That was the real issue.
Not the bedroom.
The marriage itself.
The friendship had disappeared.
The affection had disappeared.
The curiosity had disappeared.
The intimacy problem was simply the most visible symptom.
Many men focus on the sex because it feels measurable.
It feels easier to count physical encounters than emotional disconnection.
Yet emotional distance often arrives first.
The bedroom just reveals it.
When Effort Exists, Stay and Fight
Every marriage faces problems.
The deciding factor is often willingness.
If your wife acknowledges the issue, communicates openly, attends counseling, or actively works on rebuilding connection, there is still something worth fighting for.
Progress matters.
Perfection does not.
Maybe intimacy improves slowly.
Maybe conversations become more honest.
Maybe trust begins returning.
Those signs matter.
A relationship can survive hardship.
It cannot survive two people who have stopped caring.
Ask yourself:
Is she willing to talk?
Is she willing to work on the marriage?
Is she willing to seek help?
Is she willing to understand your pain?
If the answer is yes, there is still hope.
Even if progress feels frustratingly slow.
When Every Conversation Ends in Dismissal
There is a difference between struggling and refusing.
One involves difficulty.
The other involves indifference.
Imagine saying:
“I feel lonely in this marriage.”
And hearing:
“That’s your problem.”
Imagine expressing your needs for years.
And being met with eye rolls, sarcasm, or complete avoidance.
That changes things.
Every healthy relationship requires mutual concern.
You do not have to agree on everything.
You do have to care about each other’s experience.
When one spouse repeatedly dismisses the other’s emotional needs, the relationship begins to erode from the inside.
Not overnight.
Slowly.
Painfully.
Quietly.
Resentment Is Often the Point of No Return
Resentment is dangerous because it disguises itself as protection.
You tell yourself you are guarding your heart.
In reality, you are building walls around it.
At first, you feel hurt.
Then frustrated.
Then angry.
Eventually, you stop caring.
That final stage is the most concerning.
Psychologist John Gottman has often identified contempt as one of the strongest predictors of divorce.
Contempt grows from unresolved resentment.
Once respect disappears, rebuilding becomes much harder.
Not impossible.
But harder.
Ask yourself honestly:
Do you still admire your spouse?
Do you still want the marriage to succeed?
Or are you simply staying because leaving feels frightening?
Those answers matter.
Staying for the Children Is More Complicated Than People Admit
Many men stay because of their children.
That instinct comes from love.
It deserves respect.
But children notice more than parents realize.
They notice tension.
They notice silence.
They notice emotional distance.
They notice coldness.
A child raised in a household without affection may grow up believing that emotional disconnection is normal.
That realization can be uncomfortable.
The goal is not simply keeping a family under one roof.
The goal is creating a healthy environment.
Sometimes that happens together.
Sometimes it does not.
The Question That Changes Everything
If nothing changed over the next five years, would you stay?
Read that question again.
If nothing changed.
No improvement.
No renewed intimacy.
No deeper conversations.
No emotional closeness.
Would you still choose this marriage?
Many men avoid asking themselves this because they already know the answer.
The answer scares them.
Yet clarity often begins with honesty.
Not optimism.
Not wishful thinking.
Honesty.
You Cannot Save a Marriage Alone
This truth hurts.
Many men spend years carrying the relationship by themselves.
They read books.
They attend therapy.
They initiate conversations.
They make compromises.
They work on themselves.
Those actions are admirable.
But marriage requires two participants.
One person cannot create connection for two people.
One person cannot repair trust for two people.
One person cannot sustain intimacy for two people.
At some point, effort must become mutual.
Without mutual effort, exhaustion replaces hope.
Signs It May Be Time to Walk Away
Every situation is different.
There is no universal checklist.
Still, certain patterns appear repeatedly.
It may be time to consider leaving if:
Your spouse refuses all conversations about the problem.
Years have passed without meaningful improvement.
Counseling has been rejected repeatedly.
Emotional connection no longer exists.
Resentment dominates daily interactions.
You feel chronically lonely despite being married.
Respect has disappeared.
You remain only because you fear change.
None of these signs automatically mean divorce.
Together, they deserve serious attention.
Walking Away Is Not Failure
Many men view divorce as personal failure.
Sometimes it is.
Sometimes people quit too early.
Sometimes people avoid difficult conversations.
Sometimes people refuse accountability.
But there are also situations where two people genuinely grow apart.
Where one person stops participating.
Where years of effort produce no movement.
Leaving a relationship that no longer functions is not always weakness.
Sometimes it is an acknowledgment of reality.
A painful one.
But reality nonetheless.
The question is not, “When should a man leave a sexless marriage?”
The question is:
“When does staying cause more damage than leaving?”
A sexless marriage can survive.
Many do.
The deciding factor is rarely sex itself.
It is willingness.
Willingness to communicate.
Willingness to understand.
Willingness to rebuild.
Willingness to try.
If both people still possess that willingness, there is reason to stay and fight.
If only one person is carrying the marriage year after year, a harder conversation may be waiting.
No article can make that decision for you.
No expert can fully understand your story.
But you owe yourself honesty.
You owe yourself clarity.
And you owe yourself the courage to ask whether the marriage you are protecting still exists in the form you remember.
Sometimes the answer is yes.
Sometimes the answer changes everything.
With the way she's talking, you won't know she's once went on live stream nàked touching her bòdy and shining teeth for one comedian only for him to give her 50k in 2019.
Her lèaks might have been deleted from all social media.
Tragic news 💔
In 2020, a woman was crushed by a truck on her way to work a few weeks before her wedding.
She had a child, and her husband was really devastated by the news. He never got better mentally.
Several times, he attempted to take his own life, and different blogs reached out to his friends, who supported him financially.
His friends constantly reminded him that he could find peace with God, but he rejected their advice while attempting to take his life more than 10 times.
Unfortunately, he took his own life yesterday by drinking Sniper. He recorded himself and sent it to people who cared about him.
May his soul rest in peace 🕊️
@Hybrid_Ola I think I know this guy, his fiancee's name was Emife or something close...I watched videos of him years after he lost that lady...he was still mourning..He really was weakened by that death sha
Why Marriage Is Dying?
I had a discussion with my wife a few days ago about marriage. She kept insisting that marriage is all about commitment, and I was having none of it.
I believe marriage is about two people choosing to live together in love and happiness on a daily basis.
The one thing that makes marriage a turn-off for me is the shackles of the law attached to it. It should be a union of free will in which both parties can walk away at any time or choose to stay together if they both desire to, without any form of compulsion, law, regulation, rule, punishment, or institutional interference.
My wife argued that this will leave one party exposed in case the other party decides to walk away from the marriage.
I argued that I would rather someone who does not want to be with me anymore walk away than be forced to stay with me while pretending to still love me, or while simply performing a duty or an obligation towards me while resenting me, and in some cases seeking love and release in secret with another person.
My wife said, “What about the case in which one party is richer than the other, and leaving the union will make the other party financially stranded. I counter-argued that both parties in a marriage must be financially independent or work out an arrangement in which neither party is dependent on the other in such a manner that one (mostly the woman) is conditioned to live off the man and depend on him for sustenance all the days of her life. Marrying someone as a means of escaping from poverty or gaining financial freedom is marrying for the wrong reason. What if the person providing dies and leaves no property behind? How would the other party cope?
Throughout the world, more and more people are choosing cohabitation, partnership, childbearing arrangements, and other unorthodox means of enjoying their relationships outside of marriage.
Marriage has been redefined as a trap that, once you enter into it, half of your wealth automatically becomes the property of your spouse, regardless of what went down in the course of the marriage
How can true love be so mean? How can love end up impoverishing you instead of adding to you? How come someone can come into a marriage empty-handed and leverage the feelings another person has for him or her to leave the marriage with the financial resources of the other person?
“Well, I’m not certain marriage ever did suit most people who tried it. From what I hear in my office, and from what I hear from other psychiatrists, psychologists, preachers and marriage counsellors, friends, and relatives tell me and show me through their behavior, and from the fact that most marriages end either in divorce or acrimony, marriage is (as it has been for decades now) a source of real suffering for the vast majority of married people.
To go further, I would venture that 90 percent of the couples in the marriage counselling I had done would rank their marriages in the top two stressors in their lives, while only 10 percent would rank their marriages as one of the top two sources of strength in their lives.
As a healer, I can’t help looking askance at anything that depletes energy, optimism, mood, and passion to the extent that marriage does. It is, without a doubt, one of the leading causes of major depression in the nation.
In my opinion, there are four important social, cultural, and psychological reasons marriage causes so much pain.
First, the involvement of the state in marriage has been a colossal mistake. The granting of marriage licenses by the government debases an institution that is actually the proper domain of churches, temples, and other entities focused on God and Spirit.
Government involvement means that love and commitment become sterile, linked to legislation and weighted down with legal implications that are psychologically suffocating. Smart, aware people feel consciously or unconsciously disempowered from the moment they say, “I do.”
The government, in fact, should have no role in marriage whatsoever. There should be no income tax distinction between married and single people. Each person should file as an individual.
Laws should exist that simply require parents to financially support their biological children. Beyond that, it should be left to the individuals involved (husbands and wives) to go see their priests or ministers or rabbis about getting married and to then go see lawyers to write any financial contracts between them that they wish to.
Getting the government out of our marriages would do a lot to make them feel less confining.
A second reason marriage is a dying institution is the invention of the condom and contraceptives.
Once human beings understand that they could express themselves emotionally, romantically, and sexually without necessarily creating multiple families and perilously dividing their assets, the idea of staying faithful to one partner became a big challenge. You hear men and women saying they could sleep with someone while being in love with another person.
Marriage that includes cohabitation is a really tough environment in which to preserve such passion. The vast, vast majority of men and women, in fact, are no longer physically attracted to their spouses after five or ten years (that’s being kind), if they have seen one another most of that time. Human beings just are not built to desire one another once we have flossed in the same room a hundred times and shared a laundry basket for thousands of days.
Very few normal people who live together for long enough want to keep on doing it. Roommates tire of each other. Sons and daughters grow up and move out. Siblings end up at each other’s throats.
To give marriage a chance at long-lived passion, couples now need to build in space from one another and time apart.
They need to work very hard to stay interesting to one another, not just stay around one another. Too few couples are determined to do this, and it is very, very difficult, in any case.
The third reason marriage is a dying institution is that it inherently deprives men and women of the joy of being “chosen” on a daily basis. It’s natural to like the feeling of being wanted (most people thirst for it), and the fact that leaving a marriage involves “lawyering up” and suffering greatly means that most husbands and wives have to wonder whether their spouses really want to stay, or simply don’t want to go through the hassle of leaving.
If it were a relatively simple process to decide to live apart (and honor a financial contract for the support of children), then we might actually exert more effort to be attractive to our spouses for longer. We might appreciate the fact that they’re still around.
Once she gets the ring, she sees him as yoked for life, and the process of taking him for granted and disrespecting him begins almost automatically.
Once he had given her his name, he saw her as conquered territory and an appendage of himself and began to hunt for the next available exciting thing, which may be his work, career, another woman, a habit, children, and so on.
Both parties see each other as “settled,” and this sometimes stops them from making the effort to truly excite each other within the marriage, as they were doing before they got married
Fourth, our collective experience with marriages failing in such great numbers is itself one of the reasons the institution is dying.
No one likes being part of a group of hypocrites. The fact that millions of people take vows to stay in marriages for life, then leave those marriages—once, twice, maybe three times—has so trivialized and mocked those vows that many silently chuckle to themselves while listening to them.
You hear singles saying, “I want to experience marriage and divorce and second marriage and divorce, that is life!” To them, marriage is not meant to last forever anymore. Divorce is now part of the process, and a second marriage is in the offing, too.
You hear statements like “My first marriage will be blissful, but I know it is not my last,” or While I was married to him, I knew he was not my last husband, the feeling was always there. I knew I wouldn’t grow old with him. It was inevitable that we part ways.
Once enough divorced parents have wept with joy at the placing of rings on the fingers of their daughters or daughters-in-law, the backbone of marriage as an institution must snap.
It’s only a matter of time now. Marriage will fade away. We should be thinking about what might replace it. We should come up with something that improves the quality of our lives and those of our children. And we should keep government out of it, if we know what’s good for us.”
Anything that you entrust to the law always ends up dead.
The law is a poor taskmaster. It is enslaving rather than freeing. It crushes the vulnerable. It is an ineffective moral guide. It is not human and couldn’t bear with people in real time through their sufferings and situations.
It insists on rigid compliance, while life is built on changing tides and changing currents.
Sent In By A Pastor and Marriage Counsellor.
PS: If the reason you are married is in the fact that you signed a document and took a vow, your marriage is not going to be a happy one
If the reason you are married is that you love the person you are with and he or she also loves you back freely and without any force of enforcement, threat of punishment, or forced compliance.
Then you are truly married.
Once you take away the freedom to love in marriage and replace it with the threat of punishment, marriage loses love and embraces duty.
-GSW-
Another perfect day to clear up some common misconceptions.
Listen:
1. You don't NEED antibiotics when you have a cold.
2. You CANNOT shift anybody's womb. You cannot even reach it. Don't be stupid.
3. Diabetes is NOT caused by adding too much sugar to your garri.
4. For the last time, Typhoid is NOT malaria and malaria is not Tyforce. Stop diagnosing yourself of typhoid everytime you are ill or have a fever or stomach upset.
5. Hypertension ISN'T caused just by too much thinking.
6. You CANNOT "flush" ur system of illness by "pissing all the sickness away". They LIED to you..6. Your body doesn't need daily supplements. Just eat normally and healthy.
7. You do not need a special kind of tea to flush your system. You are not a public toilet.
8. Putting spoon in a person's mouth during a convulsion will NOT stop ANY convulsion.
9. Taking "Hampicloss" after sexual intercourse will NOT protect you from sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy.
10. Stop the daily douching and stop washing your vaginas with antiseptics. You are only exposing yourself to infections.
Oh... and this one is very important:
Slimming tea CANNOT remove all that fat. It will only make you purge till you are dehydrated (if you are very religious with it) and land you in the accident and emergency of the nearest teaching hospital to you. Go to a Gym, work out and DIET!
Pass it on if you care.
I like the ending of Ugo marital story. 💃
He signed a prenup before the marriage. He knew who he was marrying.
She and her family lied against him using domestic violence, he won and she got deported.
He divorced and she didn’t go with a penny.
Their child is with him.
Her car was recovered and he bought himself a nice ride later.
The person she cheated with, she can’t even see him as she wants.
School, she can’t attend.
She lost big time. All the divorce glows are signs of Mascara and makeup.
This guy ate and left no crumbs 🙌
@GbengaWemimo Word Sir...so true..
@47kasz Exactly what I told someone
She: In 2022, I told my older sister of my intention to introduce my intended to my mother.
She said I should not try it because my mother had prevented my two older sister’s marriages by throwing tantrums and sabotaging every effort until the men left them.
I laughed.
I went home and told my mum I wanted to bring home my man.
She said I was a child and I will not be getting married before my sisters.
I said “You will sleep, I will pour petrol all over this house and burn you alive.
They already told me you are a witch who is determined to stop your children from getting married so that you won’t have grandchildren.
I am determined to kill anyone who stands in my path!
Look into my eyes; I am not my sisters.
I am getting married.
I have bought your clothes and shoes and invited all the relevant people for the occasion.
You will dress up and play your part or you will die.
I will not pray for your death
I will kill you and kill myself so that those coming behind me and my elders can be free.”
Wedding day came, my mother was at the forefront of all activities.
She danced and ate and even cracked jokes
Till tomorrow, I am the only daughter of hers out of five that is married.
The others have tried and she had insisted they will not get married as long as she is alive!!!
Resuscitation procedure for a newborn in the delivery room after he stopped breathing
@onu_slim Sorry oo...see him for what...shebi she left him and they returned their bride price
@silverpenydr I'm Interested
@vstarbanks Okay Chief
@beebrain Hi, I would love to benefit from this. Thanks
@UnkleAyo May God bless you immensely Uncle Ayo
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