colin s

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@AnheuserBusch @kylenorch I have a networking opportunity for sale to increase your B2C sales via this catchy jingle

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@bakermayfield @BluejayMBB Yo Baker go to Tracks. They have Omahas best wings

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@Joobertt You making food deliveries?

[colin s @ColinS1300]

If the Internet can cyber bully a movie studio into reanimating Sonic the Hedgehog then it can surely cyber bully Jeff Bezos into allowing #Doge on Amazon

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@drunkenoprah It’s gonna be one Torino’s party pizza

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@isodrosotherm They’re made out of Valentinos boxes

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@isodrosotherm I grew up here

[colin s @ColinS1300]

Found a 2020 penny heads up while walking. Is it cursed or lucky?

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@InformST Sup

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@searl_ Name the last time you ate a plumb. You won’t

[colin s @ColinS1300]

Going to pick up provisions today for the Coronavirus. By provisions I mean 5 handles of Vodka and a granola bar

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@KnivesOut Ten Thousand Spoons: but all you need is knife

[colin s @ColinS1300]

Gas pumps when it’s cold:

-Credit or Debit?
-ZIP code?
-Gas card?
-Receipt?
-Car Wash?
-ZIP again?
-Car Wash Deluxe?
-Address?
-What is capital of Mongolia?
-Receipt?
-Go see cashier :)

[colin s @ColinS1300]

Having a double shot of espresso on an empty stomach in a waiting room is the closest thing I’ve come to riding a roller coaster in recent history

[colin s @ColinS1300]

My spirit animal

[colin s @ColinS1300]

Smart house, black mirror for kids

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@searl_ https://t.co/HBlhDOT6UE

[colin s @ColinS1300]

@winter GTFO

[colin s @ColinS1300]

The highlight of my night was that the waitress at IHOP, Ivy, loved my aura

[colin s @ColinS1300]

Today I'm replacing my blood with Bloody Mary's