Colonel Mahomes

Leader of the best regiment in the NFL. Cannon at the ready!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

Victory is ours! Every man rallied to the occasion to hold off the eagle regiment. HQ has indicated multiple field promotions are imminent. Now we celebrate with cigars, the finest gopher jerky, whatapossum treats, and fermented possum milk. Huzzah!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

Hold the line! To glory!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

We have arrived at the battlefield where we began our long campaign. One final battle for glory. The eagle regiment with their young captain approach to challenge. Cheffer’s raiders lurk. Once more into the breach! Sound trumpets! Let the Kingdom’s colors wave. Cannon primed,

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

We survived the battle of attrition. The tiger regiment has been repelled. Ultimate resolve from each of our men. One battle remains. Our work is not done. Double portions of fermented possum milk and gopher jerky for all. Huzzah!!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

We await the arrival of the tiger regiment. Defenses are fortified. Munitions are at ready. Doc has treated my wound with regular and irregular methods. We are focused. We are prepared. Cannon primed.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

Wounded by the enemy, I could not stand to leave the troops on the field of battle. Maj. Kelce and Lt.Col. Henne stepped up to rally the men and secure victory. We await our next orders and celebrate with double portions of fermented possum milk and squirrel jerky. Huzzah!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

Word arrives of the cat regiment advancing to our position. They secured victory last week despite numerous self-inflicted wounds, and hope to find us ill-prepared. They shall be sorely mistaken. Bring the deafening roar of battle and let loose the dogs of war. Cannon primed.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

We have received word from HQ. Our campaign will continue after a week of rest. While we plan and fortify, our scouts will be diligently watching for the next regiment to approach Ft. Arrowhead. Glory awaits.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

The desert pirates offered little resistance as we reclaimed our fort. By battle’s end, the men were tossing quail eggs and rotten fruit at their forces as they retreated into the night. We feast on fermented possum milk and squirrel jerky as we await further orders. Huzzah!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

We have arrived at our western fort. Once per year we must evict the desert pirates who insist on squatting despite our obvious ownership. They have replaced their captain since last battle, but the men are prepared. We must exercise caution and expect trickery. Cannon primed.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

The donkey herders fought bravely, but by battle’s end Majors Jones and McKinnon helped secure victory. Now we celebrate the new year and prepare for the journey west. Double rations of fermented possum milk for all. Huzzah!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

As New Year approaches, the time for late night revelry must wait for the upcoming battle. The disarrayed army of donkey herders approaches Ft. Arrowhead. Since our last battle their general has been relieved of duty and their ranks seem even more joyless. The cannon is primed.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

The fish hawkers proved lacking. Our forces sent them retreating back into the cold night. We retire into the warmth to celebrate the holiday before next battle. Special rations of hot fermented possum milk and squirrel jerky fruitcake for all. Huzzah!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

A hardy winter’s chill has settled in. A regiment adorned with fish hawk feathers approaches Ft. Arrowhead. I suspect they are ready for neither the bitter cold, nor our firepower. The men are prepared and the cannon is primed.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

While engaging the ranchers, the irregular force of Cheffer’s Raiders joined the battle. Despite fighting on two fronts, the men endured and secured victory. We head home. Double portions of fermented possum milk and squirrel jerky for all. Huzzah!

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

We have reached the enemy’s encampment. It appears to be a ranch, but no cattle are in sight. The fortifications seem meager at best, but we prepare for resistance. Cannon primed.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

After our successful opening offensives, the donkey herders regrouped and put forth more fight than expected. Despite misfires from the canon, Cpl. Pacheco provided the final push to secure victory. We head south.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

We approach the donkey herders’ camp. The pungent smell of burnt marmot and chili assails our senses, no doubt the result of their new captain’s cooking. Despite their lack of firepower, their defenses are stout. Our men are ready to taste victory again. Cannon primed.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

At battle’s end, the young Tiger King and his forces have repelled our attack yet again and secured victory. We bitterly begin our journey westward to mountain country.

[Colonel Mahomes @ColMahomes]

Our journey brings us to the gates of the Tiger King’s fort. His forces have frustrated us in previous battles and we have steeled ourselves for the fierce battle to come. Our men are prepared and the cannon is primed.