Cody Maynard

I’m pretty cool guy, I’m a pretty fun guy.

[MrBeast @MrBeast]

I’m gonna give 10 random people that repost this and follow me $25,000 for fun (the $250,000 my X video made)

I’ll pick the winners in 72 hours

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

@kaylafbenson Cops?

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

@jkdiscgolf Fun event, those courses are not Elite level anymore though. Glad it’s off the tour.

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

Dear @Spotify, please create a Kids tab like Netflix has.
Sincerely,
Every parent with baby shark and Laurie Berkner in their daily playlists.

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

@CadeMaynard I’ll invest.

[Cade Maynard @CadeMaynard]

5-hour energy but you die at the end

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

Oh yeah, we have milk now.
That’s means I can have A Milk Bath!…
Or Cereal.
… I’ll decide in the tub.

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

Thank you @sleepingatlast for spending 2,265 minutes with me this year on @Spotify. You are my #1. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/9skH0IOYDs

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

I found a Beak once, it was attached to a bird!
- Gene Quotes without context.

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

*Me on Shark Tank*

Me: What if we made a Condom that looks like corn. Call it the Corndom.

Them: So like, it would make your junk look like corn on the cob?

Me: Mmhmm.. yeah. That’s it.

Them: *exasperated sigh* I mean, yeah, here’s 30 million dollars.

#TuesdayMotivation

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

Men shaving their beards is the Equivalent to Women giving themselves bangs.

#justshavedmybeard #shouldIalsogivemyselfbangs?

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

*The Government creating the CoronaVirus*

Trump(having just watched John Wick 2):
Maybe, how about if Dogs can’t get it?

Scientists: Yeah, that’s probably for the better.

#CoronavirusOutbreak

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

How to tell if it’s Chilly outside.

You can feel the beans between your toes.

#cursedtweets

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

My favorite movie Series.

Jurassic Park
2 Jurassic 2 Park
Jurassic Park: Tokyo Drift
Jurassic & Park
Jurassic 5
Jurassic Park 6
Park 7
The Fate of the Park
Hobbs & Shaw

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

Graham Crackers:

Delightful afternoon snack

Or

White southern grandma

You Decide!

[Payton_Stewart @PaytonStewart20]

When you stub your toe, and your dad says walk it off.
But you scream cause he been dead for three years.

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

When you wanna make healthier life choices, so you get the nuggets at Chick-Fil-A and a super food side, but you’re still a bit hungry so you eat 3 cookies and have ice cream to reward yourself for your healthy lunch decision.

#ChickfilA #thatbackfired #relatable

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever pet a dog while your drunk?

[Cody Maynard @comaycomedy]

*When my Dog poops on the floor*

“Your contribution to this family has been noted, and it is Not appreciated.”

[Cade Maynard @CadeMaynard]

I’ve got an idea, but I must warn you. You Are gonna like it.