Mikey Scott

I say the things other people have enough tact to filter. Co-host of the @mikeyandteddy Show in WeHo.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

When did “fixer-upper” become “bring your vision” in real estate speak?

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

A gay just walked by my dog and said “Hey Puppa-woo-woo” and now I’ve decided Puppa-Woo-Woo is my drag name.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

Anyone have any good tricks for getting your partner to fill up ice trays instead of leaving them in the freezer empty?

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

Has anyone in NYC noticed Patrick Dempsey is doing the subway schedule change announcements?

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

The homeless woman asking for money on the subway just told everyone they could @CashApp her.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

@summerLsteele Lol. One day I’ll tel you the whole ugly story!

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

My only measure of douchiness is how long you leave your AirPods in without using them.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

@Andypnichols4 No. I never waste booze.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

I threw a drink at an ex at the bar once and was banned for a year. Why is Will still in the front row?

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

Just rode a citibike home with a fresh baguette sticking out of my backpack so yeah I am NAILING this Brooklyn thing.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

In 15 years in Hollywood, my most memorable celeb moment will always be serving a shrimp cocktail to Otho from Beetlejuice.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

When I was a kid I always said “Reach for the Moon because even if you miss it you’ll land amongst the stars” which just proves how bad I was at science.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

If Disney isn't working on a Luisa spinoff movie right now then what are they even doing?

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

@BradLoekle @TheHustlaball @AtlantisEvents I need a tee that just says “Don’t” and nothing else.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

What do you do when you find an old friend on social media you haven’t seen in a long time and you discover they’re one of those people who only posts drastically overhead selfies?

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

@MileyCyrus is the only person who left me a bad tip that I still love.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

I just want shirt-buttoned-up-halfway confidence.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

@nicfive5 Nope. She’s a total prude. Unlike her Daddy.

[Mikey Scott @ComicMikey]

Is there a creepy rapey dog at every dog park or just mine?

[Hey Qween 👑 @heyqweentv]

LGBTQ STANDUP! COMEDY QWEENS EP 4: starring @ElizabethGlazer @ComicMikey @GayPimp @teddymargas @Mothercouture
https://t.co/n9ijLAYlfJ