Common White Guy

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

RT if you think
@netflix
should produce a prestige #mysteryfleshpit docudrama series.

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

What Should I do

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

If you woke up and found this looking down at you, what would you do?

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

This is why you should own duck

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

NickiForPresident'20

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

“i don’t know if i’m ready for college,” i say, a college student, who is already enrolled in college

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

You: *calls me ugly*
Me: *hopes you ain’t driving with that fucked up vision*

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

how come old people tap touchscreen things so hard

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

i feel weird when my pets see me naked even though i see them naked all the time

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

me: *mocks parents for not understanding technology*
me: *has to google how to cook a pizza

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

It’s too hot
*opens window*
in comes 20 flies,
8 spiders,
17 daddy long legs,
50 moths

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

once you start wearing big t-shirts you never go back to the ones that fit

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

when u like the girl but ur friend is prettier so she likes her

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

why is underwear so expensive like wtf its a sheet of fabric that covers ur dinky doo

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

person: i currently have a 4.0 gpa!!! and do meth me: yeah but … are u ok

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

nah mom I went to bed 4 hours ago I just woke up to go to the bathroom

[Common White Guy @CommonWhiteGuy]

My Looks Are A 5
My Peronallity is a 5
Am i a 10