Conan's Squirrel

The voice of the squirrels. You're welcome, squirrels.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

@AndyRichter Thanks for liking my hoarders DVR comment. ;) it’s like I’m writing tweets for Team coco again years later.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

#ILoveBaconMoreThan my nuts.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

It's #SquirrelAppreciationDay. You sorta have to retweet this.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

🐿? Seriously? A chipmunk emoji and still no squirrel?

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

I auditioned by never got booked for Stupid Pet Tricks. #ThanksDave

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

Without him, where would we be. #ThanksDave

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

The Easter Bunny was my college roommate.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

What did you call me and my family, @rickygervais?

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

@ConanOBrien Hey man, I photographed your sperm under a microscope. Hope you don't mind.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

Please don't eat at Hooters. They objectify owls.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

You know the secret to comedy?

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

Timing!

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

For St. Patrick's Day I dyed my nuts green.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

I always bet on rabies. Maybe it's a squirrel thing.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

Everyone talks about Julius Caesar today, but never mention his best friend Julius Crouton.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

What channel is "Squirrel Seeking Squirrel" airing on?

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

That explains why he is always sitting in an outdoor bathtub looking at the sunset.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

At most, a squirrel is 5 shades of grey.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

I'm gonna try that Paleo Diet.

[Conan's Squirrel @ConansSquirrel]

It's Squirrel Appreciation Day! I'm registered at Planter's Peanuts.