Confessional Awkward

Welcome to Confessional Awkward, where I get to rant about how stupid I am sometimes, and you get to relate to me so I don't feel so alone.

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

#IMustConfess, beer makes me shit. I prefer whiskey. And moonshine, when available.

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

#IMustConfess, all I want to do is have a fuck-buddy relationship with you. Harder to initiate than a first date, in my opinion

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

That moment when you see the person you wanna hook up with (again) and they've got someone else in their arms.

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

Yes, I put money on your desk. No, I'm not imagining things. (No) Yes, you probably just lost it. (Yes) No, I'm not accusing you of lying.

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

Inevitably, I will always regret tequila, for the memories (or lack thereof) of horrible things I did.

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

I always wish for tequila as an excuse to do horrible things.

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

How do you ask someone if their boyfriend stole from you.
"Hey, is your boyfriend a douchebag? Cause i think he stole from me."

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

PS I blame you or your boyfriend for the $13 missing from my wallet which was sitting on your desk. So yeah, I don't owe you anything. Bitch

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

I just blew up over the fact that I have $11 to my name, and you remind me I owe you $8 for food last night? #FuckYouToo

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

Biddy is now a noun, verb, adjective, and lifestyle.

[(Parody) Common White Girl @CommonWhiteGal]

Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, “No one gives a fuck“

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

@Huntermoore doesn't retweet your #birthdefecttuesday meaning: You're too fucked up to be normal, not fucked enough to be cool. #FuckThis

[Imagine Dragons @Imaginedragons]

i don't care how sexy you are. if you have stinky breath you are dead to me

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

I tried to have a cute sneeze and now I sound like a bat having a supersonic orgasm when I sneeze.

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

So there's an underground "Kinksters club" at my university. They fuck each other, go to BDSM clubs and post nudes. #weird

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

I JUST WANT TO BE A CLASSY LADY

BUT I HAVE TO BE DRUNK TO SOCIALIZE

WHICH MAKES ME BIDDY

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

I DONT WANT TO BE A BIDDY

[Confessional Awkward @ConfessionalAwk]

You know you're a biddy when frat brothers high five a guy while he's fucking you and you're too drunk to notice #ImABiddyNow