Connection Code

Riley Santer

Author of FINDING FRIENDSHIP
Available NOW ⬇️⬇️⬇️

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Learn to break narratives that stop good relationship and learn how to build connections in community and friendship with a step-by-step guide.

https://t.co/AK5ytX0Xgz

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I don't care how nice someone is to you, if they can't be honest with you then they'll never be a close friend.

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The best self-improvement program is to take note of what you do and don't respect of other ppl & then hold yourself accountable to those standards.

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Any day you go out to meet new ppl, whether you make connections or not, is a win-- because you're telling yourself "I care enough about you to try."

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Friends are not space fillers so you have someone to do the things only you want to do.
Friends are ppl to have shared enjoyable experiences with.

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If the majority of communication is nonverbal, what does that say of the value of silence, listening and observing in a relationship?

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Strength is an essential component for healthy friendships/relationships.

Connections involve adding another person in your life-- which requires us to be able to manage the overwhelm of another person's needs.

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@turtlebreezee Part of healing is growing the muscle of standing up for yourself. What you used to shame yourself with will be chased by this new muscle to see things more objectively and respectful to others and yourself.

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@mindset_168 Unfortunately, we have to experience dark moments sometimes to get the wisdom we need and lack.

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@alonefeeliings If you tell someone they hurt you and their first reaction isn't concern, that gives you all the information you need.

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@StephanSpeaks Lack of self-knowledge guarantees the same kind of relationship repeated with the next person.
Single time allows us to reflect without distractions.

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Don't get so caught up in trying to make a connection with someone that you forget to observe and notice ppl.

Remember, many ppl's top desire is to be seen. Be calm, notice, take ppl in.

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If someone ghosted you in a long term friendship/relationship without telling you what's wrong, you didn't fail.

Try to move on. You deserve people who respect you enough to speak up.

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@JulieAn96542831 Agreed. The more my friendships went up into flames, the more I realized I needed the same keen eye I had with dating to be applied in friendship.
Wishing you well with yours 🙏

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If you have a history of missing deep red flags, I highly recommend journaling about the people you meet regularly.

You need a space to track your natural reactions to people and getting in the habit of acknowledging them.

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Your mood and energy is like a smell others can pick up on.
It's not selfish to take care of your mental well-being-- others will be thankful for it.

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Your self-esteem is in a good state when you don't take the rejection of strangers personally.

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A big part of fighting solitude is expanding your understanding and experience of other ppl.

We often have a specific idea of what we want & only look for that, which blinds us to other possibilities.

Make time to expose yourself to new ppl as often as you're able to.

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You can't listen to what people are saying if your mind is distracted or you're talking too much and you can't feel people's energy if you're anxious.

Calm is the listening of the body and spirit.

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@Stopworkplacebu The level of shame the BSers are threatened with feeling from being exposed will cause them to panic and say anything necessary to save face.

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People who struggle with social situations should reflect on their self-talk during an event when they get home.
You'd be surprised how much needs to be attended to and how it's affecting your energy.